Animal I Have Become
by LaueHime
Summary: Set after 'Sex and Violence'. Sam's abilities are building up until one day, he realizes that he can read minds. What seems like a gift at first quickly turns into a nightmare as he faces what Dean really thinks about him. A dangerous hunt might show them some clarity or tear them apart for good as they have no choice but to trust each other to survive. Hurt!Dean and Limp!Sam
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Yes it's me again and I have a new story! I can't get tired of it apparently! When I first thought of this plot, it was meant to be a short story – two-parts tops. But it seems like I have gotten carried away! I am almost done with the story (I wanted to write it all before I posted) but then I decided that, since there's a chance it'll be three or four chapters long, I'd give you at least the first chappie while I complete the story. I hope you'll like this one!**

**Summary: Set season 4 after 'Sex and Violence'. As Sam's strength builds up with his developing abilities, he realizes one day that he can read minds. What seems like a gift at first quickly turns into a nightmare as he has to face his brother's thoughts and what Dean really thinks about him. A dangerous hunt might show them some clarity or tear them apart for good. **

**Warnings: Angst of course! The inside of Dean's head is no place for children to wander. Also hurt!Dean and limp!Sam. It's my first time doing hurt!Dean I hope you guys will like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun! Now let's get started with the story. Enjoy! **

+.+.+.+.+

Things had been tensed between the brothers over the past days. Even though they had spoken about it and made things right between them, an atmosphere of guilt still pressed upon them. Words had been spoken; thrown at the other like daggers. Anger was still floating around like a thick stormy cloud and it was just a matter of time before the rain crashed down on them. Remorse just wasn't something the Winchesters dealt with. Not when it regarded Dean's wrath towards Sam's choice of extracurricular activities. And Sam wasn't about to give in to Dean's demands and go as far as to stop his own train of action in the midst of catching the Demon's ass he so desperately sought for.

In his opinion, Sam was utterly convinced that he was only doing the right thing. Training with Ruby and using his powers would only bring justice and eventually, _peace_. But he thought that as a man having such a responsibility, he ought to deal with a certain amount of dire consequences. It also required of him to make a number of sacrifices. That was what he knew and accepted as it would lead to his and his brother's salvation. The death of Lilith would atone for Sam's mistakes as he also believed it was the only way of making it up to his brother for the deal.

Dean wasn't relishing Sam's mechanism of coping. He was all aware of the risks that surrounded his brother's use of his so-called gifts. At first, his brother had called it a curse. Sam had tried to make him understand that he wanted to use the 'evil' inside of him for the greater good. After all – and to Dean's dismay – Sam really thought he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart. But Dean knew better. He'd seen the way his brother looked when he took on a demon. Sam was enjoying the pain that he was inflicting.

But then again, if his brother wanted to fight that fight, Dean would let him be. That wasn't even his biggest concern. What he minded the most were the lies and the careful games played behind his back, thus increasing his feeling of being left on the bench to watch as things unfolded. Sam had found his new teammate and it wasn't Dean. His brother had teamed with the enemy. He'd teamed with a demon. That was the part that he just couldn't live with. That's what he blamed Sam for and that's what the siren spell had pulled out of him.

Sam too had said some things. Dean couldn't shake off the way his brother had looked at him, calling him 'weak' and blaming him for 'holding him back'. Did Sam really deem him too weak to help him take on Lilith? Did his brother have such a low opinion of him even after everything they'd been through? Even if they'd apologized for the things they had said, even if they had assured each other that they hadn't meant any of those hurtful words, Dean still wondered if maybe – just maybe – some of it could have been true.

That's how they ended up trapped together in yet another motel, searching the net for any trace of a new hunt. The tension was almost palpable between the two. While Sam operated on his computer, Dean was searching the television news in case anything strange showed up. But his mind wasn't really into it. What would they find, anyway? That Lilith had broken yet another seal? He thought that maybe for once, he'd be better off not knowing.

He heard Sam lean back against his chair and clear his throat. He also saw the shifting in his peripheral vision. Dean turned only slightly enough to watch as Sam tried to rub the fatigue from his face. His brother looked shakier than usual and he'd been quite irritable in the morning. The eldest rolled his eyes at the memory.

"Think I found something" Sam finally said, stretching his arms to try to alleviate the kinks in his shoulders. Dean finally turned to him and muted the television.

"Couple of towns away, five kids have gone missing. The strangest thing is that they were all last seen in the same park before they disappeared. Parents reported to have let them play with the other kids before realizing that their children were suddenly gone" he explained. Dean was mindfully taking it all in.

"Same park uh?"

"Yep. And there are no signs of the vics. I don't know about you but it sounds like our kind of thing"

"I thought pulling demons with your mind and hunting down Lilith was your thing" Dean replied snarkily.

Sam's brow furrowed and Dean watched his eyebrows knit. He'd hit a nerve and he knew it. If looks could kill, he'd be six feet under after that last glare from his brother. Sam didn't care to reply. He swallowed back his anger and turned away from his brother before saying something he could regret later.

"I know we still have to go after the seals but we're talking about missing kids here. There's even the possibility that they may have been killed"

"Yeah I hear you Sam. You got any leads on what it could be?"

"Not yet. The reports didn't bring up anything relevant"

"Then let's go check it out" Dean announced.

He turned off the TV and managed to keep his back turned so he wouldn't face his brother. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with anything at the moment. Sam was visibly bothered. His movements were sharp and he threw furtive glares towards his brother. Dean didn't pay them any attention and just moved out of the room. Miles separated them from this next hunt and he wasn't thrilled at the idea of spending that time trapped in a car with his brother.

+.+.+.+.+

The drive was quieter than he'd expected. Sam had mostly stared out of the window and they had hardly spoken. Dean was honestly okay with that. Sam hadn't exactly let him into his 'personal garden of Sam' lately. He had kind of gotten used to the feeling of not sharing anything anymore. It didn't make it easier but it wasn't unexpected either.

Dean let Sam with the car and the material while he went inside for the check in. Sam peeked at his surroundings and after making sure that no one was around, he pulled his cell phone out. He hit the second number on his speed dial and waited as he heard the dull ringing from the line. His heart pounded in his chest and his palms started to warm up and sweat profusely. When he heard the click on the line, his heart finally calmed.

"Hey Sam"

"Ruby. I need it. Can we meet?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking" she teased. Sam didn't reply. His breathing only deepened.

"I'll meet you as soon as I can" she finally said.

Sam swallowed. He felt jerkier than usual and he didn't like it. He didn't like waiting either.

"And when is that?"

"I don't know, okay! I'm busy here trying to find Lilith, remember?"

She sounded annoyed and Sam clenched his fist before unclenching it and taking deep breaths.

"I need to train if I want to be able to stop her"

"I know. Look, I'll try to stop by tonight. Call in a babysitter for your brother while you're at it. He's not exactly part of my fan club"

Sam sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. It was a nervous move.

"Don't worry about that. Dean won't bother us" he assured.

Ruby smiled. She liked the man she had turned Sam into. He trusted her without questioning. The Sam she had first met would always take sides behind his brother but this Sam had overgrown the older one. She could have him anywhere doing anything if she promised that it would help take Lilith down.

"Bye Sam" she ended the conversation with a proud smile. She had him exactly where she wanted him to be.

Sam snapped the phone shut just as Dean was coming back to the car.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, his brow frowning.

Sam shrugged.

"Wrong number" he replied simply. He didn't miss the look of distrust in his brother's eyes.

"Right" Dean mumbled as he pulled the duffels out.

They settled inside the room for the night and Dean decided it was a good time for a weapon check. He pulled out his collection of knives and processed to sharpen them. He wouldn't be fighting the good fight with lousy weapons. When their lives were at stake, he could never afford to mess around. When he was done with the knives, he moved to the guns. That's something else their father taught them. To avoid the weaponry backfiring on them, care was something that couldn't afford to be neglected.

Sam was shifty and fidgety until he felt his pocket vibrate. He pulled out his phone only to see that it was just what he was waiting for. Ruby had texted him her location and she was waiting for him. He couldn't wait any longer as the craving for his 'training' methods only pulsated through his veins.

"Be back later" he announced, pulling his jacket to his shoulders and reaching for the door.

Dean's head snapped up from the weapons. He hadn't been expecting the sudden movement.

"Where are you going?" he asked quickly, wishing Sam wasn't meeting whom he thought his brother was meeting. Dean knew that despite his disapproval, Ruby was exactly where Sam was going. He found himself wishing that his brother could at least have the balls to tell him the truth instead of another one of Sam Winchester's greatest lies.

"Out" Sam replied before barging out the door. Dean didn't have time to react and he was left staring at the empty room. Anger boiled inside of him. Even though he'd do anything for his brother, at this point, he just felt like punching the guy. That wasn't the Sam he knew. Sam hadn't been Sam in a long time. He sighed sadly. If only there was something he could do.

+.+.+.+.+

Sam was feeling much better than he had been all day both physically and emotionally. He was back into his 'business' with Ruby and felt a powerful rush of adrenaline burst from inside of him. He could feel himself becoming stronger and this new force made him feel almost indestructible. He was gaining more confidence that Lilith's end was near and that he'd be the one holding the smoking gun when it happened.

Ruby studied him and smiled. She saw the change too. She even felt it. Sam was becoming stronger with every single one of their sessions and soon, he'd be unstoppable. He could learn anything if he wanted to at this point. She guided him to the old and empty storage room she had found for their little meeting. Sam followed and discovered what was behind the walls.

A man was tied to a chair in the middle of the empty room. Beneath the chair was a painted devil's trap that restrained the demon and its power. The man was helpless and Sam felt cocky and strangely stronger than usual. As he reached the man's side, he started hearing softly murmured words. He couldn't make out what they were saying but they were getting stronger. At the same time, he felt a dull and familiar ache beneath his skull.

Training helped with the headaches and he didn't get so many of them anymore but there were still moments when they invaded his senses. The words were clearer now. They sounded like threats. _Kill you… gonna beat you… make you hurt…_

"You're not exactly in a good position to scare me" he told the demon. It was sitting inside a stolen body, bowing his head down so his bangs covered his eyes. Sam could tell just by the atmosphere that he wasn't taking on just any low-level demon anymore.

"You don't scare me either" the demon growled, finally looking up. Its eyes were frantic. _When I get out of here, I'll kill you!_

Sam frowned. He had heard that but the demon's lips hadn't moved. He cocked his head to the side and listened.

_Those damn Winchesters think they're so strong. Wait until they see what's coming for them. _

The demon's lips still hadn't moved but Sam heard its voice clearly.

"What…" he stuttered, still too shocked to understand what was happening.

"I said you don't scare me boy. What are you gonna do? Douse me in holy water and then send me back. Please, don't waste both our time" _Lilith has other plans for you. You shouldn't care about me. You should prepare for her. She's the one you need to fear._

Sam's eyes widened. He had a theory to explain what was happening and he was just starting to understand that he'd guessed right. For a moment, he had a flash of Cold Oak. He could almost smell the mud as the words came back to him. _Once you give into it, there're all sorts of things you can do. _Shaken up, he turned to face Ruby with a puzzled expression.

"What do you want me to do with him?" he asked. She raised her eyebrows. _Are you kidding me?_

That was Ruby's voice. He was hearing her thoughts too. He reached a hand to his head and pressed. That only served to remind him that the headache was alive and kicking at this point.

"This is training Sam!" _Come on, pull the nut job so I can get this over with!_

Sam's brow knit. He was debating whether he should tell Ruby or not. Whatever he chose to do, he knew that he couldn't do it in front of the demon. He turned back to face the demon's vessel. It wore an evil smile.

"Come on Sam. I wouldn't want you to miss on your training" he teased. _Either way, I'd rather be down there when Lilith comes up. Nasty bitch she is. _

Sam almost choked and quickly worked to regain his composure. He closed his eyes and concentrated all his energy with the thought of sending the demon back to Hell. Black smoke started to pour out of him and Sam had to pull harder to not let it get away. With a loud pained cry, the demon was extracted from the human vessel and put back into the ground. The body slumped on the chair.

"It almost looked too easy" Ruby cheered. _He's almost ready. All my patience and here is my prize. _

Sam didn't look up right away. He was trying to process what he was hearing. With the information he got from the other demon, Lilith definitely seemed to be up to something. Ruby didn't sound innocent either. What was all of this about?

"Why did you make me do this? You knew I'd do it easily, didn't you?" he asked almost accusingly.

Ruby smiled and walked towards him, extending her arms to reach his. Sam flinched away. Ruby turned her eyes down to avoid the awkward movement between them.

"It's a good thing you found it easy. It means you're getting stronger" _He was in my way. He needed to disappear_.

Sam's eyes widened. Was Ruby lying to him? And was he hearing the truth simultaneously? He definitely had to keep quiet about this. She couldn't know that he read her thoughts. Not yet. He had things to find out first.

"Am I going to be strong enough to destroy Lilith?" he tried. If he could hear her thoughts, now was the time to find out the truth.

"Not yet. But you should be soon" _Just a little longer and you'll be even stronger than her. I can't wait!_

That latest revelation shocked Sam. Could he really be stronger than Lilith? Could he be _that_ strong? But then what would Dean think? His brother already hated the visions back when they were just dreams. The idea of having a brother that is stronger than the worst demon in Hell would definitely be a shocker for his brother. And Dean wouldn't like it. Now that he thought about Dean, he realized that he would probably be able to hear his brother's thoughts as well. Would that turn out to be a good thing?

Ruby was looking at him intensely now. He flinched again when she reached a hand to cup his cheek.

"Are you okay? You didn't listen to me just then, did you?"

He shook his head. He'd been caught up in his thoughts for a few seconds too long.

"I'm fine. Let's keep this training up then. I gotta go now but call me when you're available" Sam said.

She nodded but she still looked suspicious. _You're strange and you totally spaced out on me? What's going on in that head of yours?_

"Okay" she simply replied. Sam waited but she just stood there. He finally nodded and left. He had to go back to Dean but he didn't know how it would turn out between them.

+.+.+.+.+

Dean was lying on his bed with a beer in his hand and his other hand behind the back of his head, holding it up. There was movie on television and he looked at it without actually watching it. His mind was somewhere else. He was thinking about his brother and their argument with the siren. Sam's behavior was freaking him out and pissing him off at the same time. He wanted to worry about the youngest but every time he started to care, Sam lied and hid things from him. His care had turned into anger. After everything he'd done, that's how Sam repaid him? By lying to him about using his powers and by sneaking around with Ruby? Well that's some brother he had.

Dean was distracted from his thoughts when the motel door was yanked open and said little brother stumbled into the room. At first he wondered if Sam was drunk but the way he quickly straightened up and pulled his serious face on had him change his hypothesis. Sam was just being himself… a liar when it came to facing Dean.

"How's Ruby?" he asked, staring at how Sam's face remained unchanged.

"Why does it matter to you?" Sam retorted bitterly.

_Great he just came back and he's already an ass._

Sam sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He had expected that he wouldn't be able to shut off the mind-reading thing but he hadn't been able to predict just how much it would annoy him. On top of that, his head was killing him. He just wanted to curl up on his bed and into the darkness. He could feel that Dean was working himself up next to him.

"I'm sorry if I care that you've been brooding all day and that you just went out with that bitch all night and lied to my face about it!" Dean exclaimed, his voice elevating dangerously.

"I didn't lie to you I just didn't tell you where I was going so I could finally do something without needing your say-so!" Sam snapped back.

"Hell even if I said anything to change your mind, you don't ever listen to a word I say!"

"Why would I? You're not dad, Dean!"

Their voices were reaching dangerously loud levels and Dean was up off the bed, reaching his brother to face him. Sam had his fists clenched at his sides. His headache was worsening. Dean held an angry grimace.

"It wouldn't even make a difference because you didn't listen to dad either! You always did your thing without caring about what other people thought! You haven't changed!" Dean snapped.

A wave of pain made Sam's lids tremble with spasms. If it didn't end now, his head would probably split open.

_You never listen to anybody but yourself. You're just selfish._

Sam started trembling. He couldn't tell if it was from the pain in his head or from Dean's words but he felt overwhelmed altogether.

"I'm doing this so we can finally be free. Once Lilith is gone, we'll have peace!" Sam tried to justify himself, his voice suddenly lower and weaker too.

"This isn't peace or justice or whatever the hell you call it to justify yourself! This is revenge Sam!" _You're just like dad. _

"Whatever it is, Lilith is still killing people and she wants to bring forth the damn apocalypse! I'll be damned if I have to sit back and watch it happen!"

"We will stop her but not with your psychic crap" _It scares the shit out of me._

Sam swallowed but his throat was dry. Hearing thoughts was definitely in his definition of a curse.

"There's no other way" Sam breathed out. He was exhausted and sick of having to justify himself.

"There will be. I'm not letting you do this to yourself" _I'm not letting you turn into a monster. _

Sam's eyes widened despite the pain.

"Not letting me do what?" he dared, wanting to ear just how much his brother was willing to verbalize.

"This… the hanging out with demons… this… this thing you do" _You're turning into one of them._

"What are you thinking Dean?" he asked even though he knew because he could very well hear it.

Dean was fidgeting nervously. He couldn't bring himself to say it. It would make it all real. _Don't do this. I can't say it. But with what dad said before he died…_

After the silence settled, Sam couldn't take it and Dean wouldn't say it.

"You're afraid I'm gonna go dark side, aren't you?"

Dean's lips were trembling. He looked at his brother with sad and misty eyes.

_I just hope you haven't already._

His silence spoke volume but Sam had heard everything he needed to hear. His brother was afraid of him; afraid of his powers and afraid of the threat that surrounded him. He was afraid Sam would decide to turn evil – or even worse – that he would because he didn't have any other choice. Of all the times he had tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing, Dean was here and making it all feel so wrong.

He couldn't hold the tears that pooled into his eyes. He bit hard on his bottom lip and brushed his hair back with his hand, massaging his aching head on the way. He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked down at the stained carpet on the floor.

Dean nervously danced from one foot to the other. He was uncomfortable but he didn't know what to do to make it better. He put his hands on his hips and tried to speak with his head still bowed down.

"I can't begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you during those four months… I know you did what you thought was right at the time but I'm back now" _I died for you, didn't I? You should at least do that for me if not anything else. _

Sam closed farther in onto himself. Did his brother now regret the deal because he felt like he wasn't worth it anymore?

"We can figure something else out together. But it's you and me, man. No demon, no psychic powers, just you and me" Dean continued. _Maybe if I say it enough, I'll believe it myself_.

Sam shook his head while rocking on himself.

"I don't know Dean" he finally breathed out.

Dean tensed up. "Right. Because I'm weak and I'm holding you back" he snapped, remembering Sam's words even if they were spoken under the siren's spell.

Sam's head snapped up. He stared at Dean in disbelief.

"How many times do I have to say that I didn't mean that? It was the siren's spell" he tried.

"Say it until you mean it" _Please, I know you meant it because I know that I meant what I said too. _

Sam was gaping until he realized he was and shut his mouth. _Yeah you meant it alright._

"Look, get some sleep now. We have a job to do tomorrow. Whatever you do, if you work with her, I don't want to be a part of it" _If you choose her… man I swear you better not count on me to clean up your mess._

"Good idea. I'm tired. Good night Dean" Sam pressed. He didn't want to hear anymore of Dean's thoughts. He had enough to torture himself for the rest of his life.

"Right. Good night" he replied. Sam slipped his shoes off and settled himself into bed with his clothes on. Dean looked at him for a few more seconds before sighing and turning the light off. The issue wasn't resolved but they could deal with it tomorrow. He felt his own fatigue get the best of him and he let it. As he closed his eyes, images from the pit flashed inside his mind. He snapped awake, panting. He looked over at Sam who lay unmoving in his own bed.

_With all I've seen in the pit… please Sam don't let it be for naught. If you ruin what I gave my life away to save… I don't know what that'll do to me. _

And then Dean closed his eyes. He didn't want to wake his brother up. Little did he know that Sam was awake at that moment. And he had heard everything.

+.+.+.+.+

On the next day, the boys got up to investigate on the disappearances that had occurred recently. Dean was unusually quiet but not as much as Sam was. This resulted in a very silent car ride to the park and between the houses where the parents lived. Sam was still hearing what people were thinking. He couldn't shut it off and he hated it. Knowing everybody's thoughts was definitely a curse. He didn't miss the people that were judging them even if they were just thinking about it. He didn't miss the girls either, especially when they thought about Dean or himself. Oh the things he heard… they would make even Dean blush.

After visiting three of the families while pretending to be FBI agents, they discovered the truth. The first kid to disappear had made a new friend in the park. It was another kid that had come up to him and asked permission to play. They had both disappeared as soon as the babysitter wasn't looking. The second kid had made a new friend too. Only this kid was with his parents and said parents recognized the new friend when Sam showed them a picture of all the missing kids. He looked just like the first kid whom had disappeared.

It followed the same pattern for the three others; always making new friends with a kid that looked just like the one whom had previously disappeared. There was a forest behind the park and the boys decided to venture into it. It was Dean who found the clues. There was a whole in the ground that had barely been covered and it was used to burry clothes. Kid clothes. Bloodstained clothes.

Dean had to put a hand up to cover his mouth and nose before the sight and smell made his stomach roll. Sam caught up soon enough and turned away nauseously when he spotted the blood.

"I guess this means we can't tell the parents to keep the faith" he concluded.

"Their kids are dead. There's no faith. There's no bounce back. There's just death" Dean pointed out. _Once you die, there's no coming back. I should have known._

And Sam's stomach flipped so quickly that he had to bend into the bushes to evacuate the onslaught of nausea that assaulted him.

"So what can take different forms and feed on children?" Dean continued as if nothing had happened.

Sam wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and swallowed the remaining sickness. The taste still hovered and threatened to make him sick again.

"For the form changing, it can be many things… shifter, changeling" Sam enumerated.

"Wait" _If I can just remember. Something tells me that…_

"I am waiting" Sam pointed out but Dean caught him off again.

"The parents said something that I think was important. They said that the other kid always asked permission to play with their child" _Makes sense now._

"Yeah so?"

"You remember that hunt we took on right after dad died? Of course you do, we were hunting clowns! Well that time we hunted a Rakshasa"

"Yes I remember Dean and thanks for the memory!"

Dean rolled his eyes but he couldn't help but smile slightly at the thought of hunting clowns when Sam absolutely hated them.

"Rakshasas can take on a human form. They need to be invited to get into a house. Maybe in this case it still sticks to old habits. They can make themselves invisible too. That can be useful when you want to disappear. Oh and they eat human flesh" Dean finished with a grimace towards the bloody hole in the ground.

"Makes sense. They are vulnerable to brass, right?"

"Yep. That's how we'll know if we're really hunting one" Dean replied. Sam nodded.

"Okay well we know where its lair is and we know how to kill it. Let's go get what we need and make a plan to catch it" he said. It was Dean's turn to nod.

_He does use 'we' a lot. I hope I can count on you this time, Sam._

Sam heard that and he too really hoped that his brother could count on him. He was tired of disappointing him. He noticed that Dean was studying him a lot when he thought he didn't notice. His brother was probably trying to determine if he could trust Sam. That hurt him more than any words thrown in a dispute ever could.

They got to the Impala and rummaged through the trunk to find anything made of brass that could help them kill the Rakshasa. They also brought silver in case they'd made a mistake in finding out what they were hunting. When they were mostly ready, they concluded that they would have to wait for the thing to show up so they could follow it and kill it. It could take on any form so it could be anybody.

"What if I try to attract it" Sam proposed suddenly. Dean looked at him incredulously.

"You mean like bait?" _What the hell are you doing?_

"Yeah well, better me than a kid"

"Are you sure?" _This is stupid and you're only going to get hurt. What do I look like to you? Your own personal nurse?_

Sam breathed deeply. He hated this as much as Dean did but he wouldn't send a kid out to be bait and he wanted to do this so he could show Dean he was still working with him. The previous night had brought on new clarity and it was the least he could do. After all, Dean had gone to Hell for him. It's the least he could do.

"Yeah. Let me do this" he finally replied.

Dean didn't look convinced but he nodded. What other choice did he have? _Don't screw this one up. I'm giving you one last chance. Don't screw this up. _

"I won't" Sam breathed out softly before walking towards the park. Dean looked at him with a puzzled look before finding a spot where he could watch everything that unfolded in front of him without being in the way and hindering the operation.

+.+.+.+.+

**TBC**

**First part is up! How is it so far? Is it worth continuing? Do you want to know what happens next? And what about this chapter? If you have a minute, I would love to have feedback! It really helps me write and sometimes it even gives me ideas! Yes you guys are a great source of inspiration!**

**Thank you for reading and see you soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

Sam dragged his feet up to the park and chose a bench to sit on. He let his shoulders slump and leaned forward on himself, bowing his head. He figured if he looked vulnerable, he'd be an easy prey. He waited until he lost track of time along with the feeling in his back bottom and legs. He thought he'd never see anything when someone came. It was a child. A boy. He was pale and shivering from the cold.

"Excuse me" he asked softly.

Sam looked up and his eyes met the kids'.

"Can you help me find my dog? He ran in the forest and I lost him. My dad's going to kill me if he knows I lost my dog. Can you help me find him?"

Sam studied the kid up and down and finally smiled tentatively.

"Sure. Let's go find your dog" he said, turning around to where Dean was hiding. His brother hadn't missed the action and he was ready to follow whenever he could make sure that no one would see him coming.

Sam followed the kid and chills racked his body when he started hearing his thoughts.

_That one is so big. He'll last me a week at least. I'm so hungry._

Sam's eyes widened. He was following a monster that wanted to eat him. He swallowed on nothing because his throat was too dry. The brass dagger rested softly inside his pocket. He just had to pull it out. He just had to…

Sam's eyes snapped open. He was standing in the forest, alone. The kid was gone. "Or invisible" he thought. Sam adopted a defensive posture and scrutinized the area around him.

"Kid? Where are you?"

"I'm right here. Come join me I found something" he heard from a small and young voice. He walked towards it knowing that he was following a monster that was probably waiting in the shadows to kill him.

Sam heard the crack but he didn't have time to move and felt his breath get knocked out of him as he was pushed forward and tripped upon an upstanding tree root. He heard more cracking and finally heard a voice.

"Sam?"

It was Dean. His brother had made it and by the sound of his voice he wasn't far.

"Right here" he stated weakly.

He heard footsteps and pushed himself upright.

"Be careful" he instructed his brother as he saw his shadow get closer. Dean was finally close enough that he could see his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Sam nodded. Without warning, Dean was pushed forward and fell to the ground.

"Dean!" Sam shouted and ran to his brother's side.

"Sam, be careful!" _Don't run like an idiot, you'll get us both killed!_

Sam stopped moving and stayed where he was so he could study the forest. They were surrounded by trees and the sky was pitch black. He could hardly see the stars through the ceiling of branches and leaves. The moon slightly shone through the mass of wood.

Dean was on the floor panting. He was afraid to move in case it would trigger another attack from the invisible man. His eyes were wide and Sam could tell that he was scared. He could also hear his brother's silent cursing, not that Dean knew that he was being overheard.

The eldest had to make an attempt to stand. He reached down to the damp ground and pushed himself up. As soon as he had found his balance, a strong gush of wind pulled him down. He felt the weight of the invisible threat.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed. _Sam help me!_

Sam started to move but he stopped when Dean was roughly turned onto his back. A cry of pain escaped his brother's lips. Sam could also hear a cold and victorious laughter but he didn't know if Dean could hear it too or if he was the only one allowed in this eerie privacy.

"Leave my brother alone" Sam shouted, taking a sprint in his brother's direction. Invisible or not, this thing didn't get to hurt Dean. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure of that. He heard the thing laugh.

Sam felt his pocket for the small and cold dagger. He pulled it out in one swift motion and swung at the wind. Dean was still pinned down and there was no way of knowing if the thing had been hit. Sam didn't feel it though. He was by Dean's side now and still had nothing to swing at.

"Come on big guy. I'm right here" he heard. The voice was right behind him. He could almost feel the warm and foul breath brush against the skin of his neck. He wanted to spin around but he wasn't fast enough. The invisible force pushed him to the side and he fell next to his brother's feet.

Before Sam could react or regain his balance, the monster was pulling Dean farther away from him. Dean was being dragged, both wrists held tightly in a strong grip. He tried to debate but it only worked to make the thing let go of him. He still couldn't see it. He was starting to panic and his heart beat faster. How would they take on something that they couldn't even see?

Dean pulled out a piece of pipe made out of brass. It's the only thing he could find when Sam had taken the dagger. At least he had something. He pointed the sharp object in front of him for protection and waited. He tried to scan the place but in the dark, he couldn't see.

"Come on, you coward! Show your face!" he shouted. He heard someone giggle and it made his blood boil. He started swinging all around himself praying to hit something on the way. But something hit him first. He felt the wind move towards him and the next thing he knew was that he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head.

Dean fell to his knees as something hard connected with the back of his head. There might have been no stars in the forest sky but nonetheless Dean saw flashing lights that looked like stars. They filled his vision and swayed in some kind of mocking dance. He wanted to list forward and slump on the ground but something held him up. His vision blurred as he tried to focus. It made his head hurt.

"I'm just going to have to start with you" Dean heard and his eyes snapped open, suddenly focused. The kid from the park was staring right back at him with a cruel beam that made Dean's blood freeze. The widening look of terror on his face only served to enlighten the kid's face even more. Before Dean could do anything, the creepy little guy plunged his hand inside his shoulder. The bony little fingers dug their way into his flesh and the hunter couldn't repress the squall that escaped his lips and forced the air out of his lungs.

The pain was white hot like a burning ember had entered his skin. He could feel the warmth of his leaking blood pour out of the hole in his chest. A pain filled wail caught in his throat where it wouldn't leave. The boy's smirk was vicious. He went to lick the blood off of his fingers when something caught both their attention.

"Get the hell away from him" Sam growled, his gun pointed right at the kid's head. Before the kid could reply or even think of disappearing again, Sam pulled the trigger. The kid listed to the side and disappeared before he hit the ground. Dean stared shockingly at the ground and then up at his younger brother.

"That won't kill him" Dean growled, his voice hoarse from the pain.

"But it moved away from you" Sam stated.

Dean wanted to say something but his mind was filled with a confusing flurry. He wanted to stand up but something connected with the side of his head and he fell to the side. He was oblivious to the world before he hit the ground.

Sam had seen the whole thing. Dean's head had snapped to the side as if something had connected with it. His brother fell to the ground and Sam could tell even from where he stood that his brother was out like a light. So the monster had fallen to the ground but it hadn't moved. Maybe the bullet had done some damage even if it couldn't kill him.

Sam wanted to be optimistic but he didn't have time for that. He had to move quickly and kill the monster before it knocked him out like it had done with his brother. He pulled out his dagger again. The hunter concentrated and closed his eyes. He had to focus his hearing since his sight would lead him to nowhere. He heard the faint cracking of branches around him and tried to guess where the hits would be coming from.

A branch cracked to his left and he spun quickly, swinging the dagger without hesitation. He heard a muffled cry of pain and the movement went the opposite direction of where he was standing. Sam was pretty sure that he'd hit something. He had felt his blade connect with something solid.

_Damn it, he heard me._

And Sam realized that he could hear more than branches on the ground. It would be his best chance. He moved forward towards where the sounds had came from. He heard little cries of pain and anger. Now he was sure that he had hit the thing. A growl of anger exploded and Sam prepared his attack.

He didn't have time to react though. The impact came from in front of him. The invisible force collided into his chest and pushed him with its remaining strength. Sam felt as if he was flying backwards from the force that was intended in the collision. Before he realized that he would fall on his back and probably hurt himself, he did. It all happened too fast.

His skull connected against a large rock that must have been on the ground behind him because his head found it before his recognition did. The pain exploded at the back of his head. For seconds that felt like an eternity, he couldn't open his eyes no matter how hard he tried to.

_The second one is down. I can begin my feast._

That thought made Sam's stomach churn. This wasn't how he wanted his life to end. Not after everything he had ever done for the world. But he had to think of something and he had to think quickly. Only, his thoughts didn't appear to grasp the urgency of the situation. They came in sluggishly and mostly mixed up.

_The big one looks so yummy. Maybe I'll just start with him._

As awful as it sounded, it suddenly gave Sam an idea. If he pretended to be unconscious for a little while longer he would probably have the Rakshasa near him. This would give him an opening and a last chance at saving himself and his brother. He had to try.

He waited and tried to control his breathing. If it was low enough, his scheme could be believable and might actually work. He had to do this for Dean. He couldn't hear his brother's thoughts at the moment which meant that Dean was probably still unconscious. He suddenly remembered what his brother had been thinking before the whole ordeal with the Rakshasa. Dean was giving him one last chance to do things right. He couldn't screw this one up. He had to make it right for Dean.

Sam didn't have to wait long. He felt the creature reaching closer and bending over him. Even with his eyes closed, he could imagine the look of scrutiny and pleasure on the creature's face. He could also smell its foul breath as the Rakshasa was already salivating at the idea of feeding on such a nice piece. Sam felt chills run down his back. The thing was too close for comfort and he couldn't ruin everything now. Not when he was so close.

The dagger was still close to him. It hung loosely between his parted fingers. All he had to do was to tighten his grip and stab the thing before it knew what hit him. That was the plan. It was also the hardest part because it meant that Sam had to be really careful to not give himself away before he attacked. Any signs from him could alert the monster and render his attempts useless or worse; lethal.

He waited a few more seconds but it only grew harder on him. His heart wanted to beat out of his chest and he could hardly breathe in enough air to keep his racing heart at bay. It was now or never. Softly, he wrapped his fingers tightly around the hilt of his dagger. He felt the monster lean closer to him and actually felt it breathe in the scent of his flesh. If he didn't move now, he'd be pie for that monster. Out of disgust and fear, he jerked forward and embedded the brass weapon into something warm and solid. The blade went through and he waited a few more seconds. He couldn't feel the breath anymore.

He heard the thing choke along with the train of curses that were only thought of but remained unspoken. Sam cringed and finally dared to open his eyes. He could see the darkening outline of the figure that was supposed to be hanging over him. His dagger was plunged into something invisible and hung from it even though nothing seemed to be holding it. It had worked then. He had just stabbed the creature and it was dying in front of him.

He didn't have time to smile at his victory. He had more important things to deal with. He still couldn't hear his brother's thoughts. Sam pushed his way out from under the creature and limped towards his brother. Dean was indeed unconscious. Through the dim moon light, Sam could also tell that his brother was pale and sweaty. The wound on his shoulder was still bleeding profusely.

"Dean" Sam murmured, shocked by the state his brother was in. He kneeled down next to him and started tapping his cheek.

"Wake up Dean. Come on" he pleaded.

He heard a soft groan and finally, after unbelievably endless seconds, his big brother's eyes opened to slits. Sam could see slivers of unfocused greens and he couldn't repress a slight smile.

"Welcome back" he greeted. Dean seemed confused and looked all around them as if searching for a threat or anything that would go bump in the night.

"The kid?"

"He's gone. Come on, let's get you out of here" Sam pressed, helping his brother up. Dean blinked sluggishly. The last thing he remembered was the pain in his shoulder and Sam shooting at the Rakshasa while it was disguised as a kid. He stumbled as he tried to gain his balance in order to get the hell out of that forest.

"How?" he asked, raising a shaky hand at his head.

"I stabbed it with the brass dagger just like we planned" Sam announced. He was focused on getting his big brother to safety. Dean had been unconscious for a while and Sam was pretty sure that his brother had a concussion. He was also bleeding. He needed to get Dean back to the motel so he could stitch the wound and watch out for infection.

Dean tried to nod but only found that it made everything spin even more.

"M' head hurts" he mumbled.

"Yeah you probably have a concussion" Sam replied. As if it could explain everything. Dean felt like there were still holes in the whole story. He didn't know the extent of the ordeal or even what went down between Sam and the creature while he was unconscious. But the youngest appeared to be fine although slightly tired. It was going to be a long night and Sam knew it too.

They reached the car and Dean was utterly relieved to see her shiny paint glimmer underneath the moon light.

"Baby" he whispered and glided towards the driver's side. Sam almost broke into a run to stop him.

"Seriously? You don't really think that I'm gonna let you drive" Sam asked in disbelief. He knew how much his brother cared about the car but with a concussion and a bleeding shoulder, he'd do more damage to it than good.

"'M fine Sam"

"Sure you are. Now you rest in the passenger seat and let me drive. You're still bleeding" Sam pointed out, motioning towards the damp shoulder wound. Dean snorted and rolled his eyes but being honest with himself, he knew it was only for the best. Sam was right about the fact that he was in no condition to drive.

He reluctantly relented and handed the keys over to his younger brother.

"Just don't wreck her"

"I won't" Sam assured.

Dean went to the passenger seat and slouched down. His eyes were already drooping form exhaustion. Sam moved to the trunk from where he retrieved a blanket and a towel. He walked back to the driver's side and settled down in the car. He handed the towel to Dean so his big brother could keep some form of pressure on his bleeding shoulder. He then bundled Dean up in the blanket. He didn't think Dean was bleeding too much but he was afraid of shock because that option hadn't been sorted out yet. Sam would only begin to feel comforted when they reached the motel room.

+.+.+.+.+

They finally made it back to the motel. Sam had to stop a few times so Dean could retch on the side of the road. When nothing was left but bile, they managed to reach their destination. Dean was in and out of consciousness; mostly out because of exhaustion. Sam had fought with himself to remain focused on the road. One of them was hurt already. They didn't need to end their course in the ditch on the side of the road.

Dean staggered out of the car and wobbled his way to the motel room. Sam followed him closely with the first aid kit that he'd retrieved from the trunk. Dean sat on the edge of one of the beds. Sam closed the door behind them and turned on the light to reveal the sickening green walls and dirty carpet of the cheap room they'd rented.

"Time to stitch you up" he announced to his big brother's attention. Dean grunted. He wasn't thrilled at the idea but it's not like he had any other choice either. He pulled the towel away so Sam could take a look at the wound.

"I hope there isn't too much damage. There's only so much I can do" Sam continued.

_How about you give me the painkillers and stop talking. My head hurts and you're just making it worse. _

Dean looked at him with a glazed over pair of green orbs that just added to the thoughts Sam had started to hear again. He sighed as if he hadn't heard anything and pulled the painkillers closer. He handed two of them to Dean. He also offered the flask of whiskey which Dean accepted with overt enthusiasm.

"You should remove your shirt so I can look at it" Sam proposed shyly. He didn't want to push it either. Dean was always grumpy during first aid but now he was concussed and pissed too.

_My shoulder hurts dumbass. How am I supposed to do that?_

"I can cut it off if it helps" Sam proposed quickly. Dean looked at him with a stern look and then loosened slowly.

Sam nodded in understanding and proceeded to cut off the part of the shirt that was covering the wound. It looked nasty and Sam cringed at the sight of the lacerated skin. There were four holes into which Sam assumed that the Rakshasa had dug his fingers. The monster was lucky it was dead because Sam would kill it again if it hadn't been. The wounds looked inches deep and they were still bleeding.

"Damn it, this thing really did a number on you" he admitted.

Dean closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing.

"Whatever. Just get this over with" he grunted.

Sam tried not to take the tone personally but it proved to be harder than he thought. He went to wash his hands and then managed to pick up everything he could use to clean the wounds. He made sure the tools were clean before he began to think about stitching. Dean cringed and hissed every time Sam's skin brushed against his.

"I think I can stitch it up. I doesn't seem like any muscle or organ has been severely damaged" Sam announced.

"Then stitch it up" Dean breathed out. His eyes were drooping again with exhaustion mixed to the pain of having someone poke his fingers through his ripped skin.

Sam made sure the needle was clean and sterilized and carried on with the stitching. As soon as he pulled on the skin, Dean cringed and hissed out of pain. Sam rambled on apologies while stitching. After a few more pushes and pulls, Dean had given into the engulfing darkness. Sam was somewhat relieved that his brother didn't have to be consciously in pain while he stitched him. This would only make his job easier.

Once the wounds were stitched, Sam contemplated his work. The black thread looked unnervingly out of place on his brother's chest. He had let Dean get hurt. It made the youngest think that he had failed. He was supposed to handle things and his big brother had been hurt in the process. Considering that Dean was giving him a last chance, he started to think that he had failed his brother. At least Dean was home safe and the monster had been killed. The only solution that he deemed worth considering was to take good care of Dean until his brother was better. Now was not the time to disappear or to let his brother get hurt even more.

Sam got up and picked up a cloth that he doused in cool water. It would be close enough to an ice pack and would help treat the headache that would surely assault his brother as soon as he woke up. He placed it on his forehead and inspected his head for signs of worse injuries. Aside from the fact that Dean's pupils were a little larger than they usually were, the rest of his head appeared to be fine.

Sam knew the drill. He would have to wake Dean up soon for verification and then every hour or so throughout the night. Concussions were nasty for that. So far, his brother had seemed pretty alert and Sam didn't think the head trauma was too severe. Dean would be fine with some rest albeit the mother-of-all headache that he would probably sport for a few days.

Sam waited a few minutes and then proceeded to wake his brother up. Dean groggily pulled his eyes open.

"Concussion check. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts"

"I know it does. Sorry. Do you know where we are?"

"Motel" Dean grunted. He squinted at the light.

"Remember what happened?"

"Rakshasa in the forest" Dean recalled.

"Alright, you'll live" Sam announced with a slight grin. Dean nodded and breathed out deeply.

"Stitches?" he tried to look down at the area where he remembered the wound was.

"All done. We'll just have to watch out for infection" Sam replied. Dean nodded.

"'kay. Can I sleep now?"

Sam nodded and smiled softly.

"Sure. I'll wake you up in an hour"

Dean grunted but he knew the protocol. That was to be expected with his concussion. He felt overwhelmingly exhausted and gave in to sleep. Sam watched his brother welcome slumber with an openness that he hadn't seen in a long time. Dean was surrendering without a fight. As he thought about it, he realized he was tired too but he couldn't sleep. He had to keep vigil and nothing would make him relinquish that responsibility.

He settled on his bed and opened the TV. If he couldn't sleep, he could at least kill some time watching the news channel or the animation channel. He only watched it with one eye though, the other one making sure his brother was still comfortable. He followed through with the protocol and woke Dean at every hour to make sure everything was still okay with his concussed brother. It annoyed Dean at every shot – and owed Sam a few curses – but the oldest didn't deny any of his little brother's ministration. Sam thought that this was his silver lining considering the situation.

The whole night left him very tired and craving for sleep. But Dean still needed him and his brother came first on his list of current priorities. He owed him that. It was time for yet another round and Sam felt like a nurse. He woke his brother up and asked to check his stitches. Dean grunted but allowed his brother – the 'caregiver' – to lay an eye on the wounds. Sam peeled off the bandage and assessed his brother's skin. Dean flinched and Sam tensed instantly.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you" he apologized.

"'s just that your fingers are cold" Dean complained.

Sam bit the inside of his cheeks. This almost made him laugh.

"My apologies princess" he replied, rolling his eyes.

Dean snorted but he didn't say anything else. _Bitch._

Sam didn't know if he should smile. He had heard that one alright even though Dean had left the thought unspoken.

"Well the skin's a little red. I'll have to clean it again and apply antibiotic cream to prevent infection" Sam announced.

"Give me the cream" Dean demanded rather roughly.

Sam frowned.

"I can do it Dean. It's fine" he assured, a little annoyed at his brother's sudden initiative against his care.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just give me the damn cream, Sam" he snapped back. _You did enough already. Don't make it more uncomfortable._

Sam bowed his head and handed his brother the tube. Dean gave him a scrutinizing look from the corner of his eyes before pushing his body against the wall and working to apply the cream on his wounds.

_I'm sorry Sammy but I'm just not sure I can trust you right now._

Sam kept his gaze fixated on the ground. He wouldn't let his emotions show. He was only starting to grasp just how angry Dean was with him. After all, Dean had blamed him for choosing Ruby and for lying to him over and over again. He had lost his brother's trust and he was starting to realize just how much it mattered to him.

Without adding another word, Sam rummaged through the first aid kit and pulled out the painkillers. Dean was about due for another dose. He took the pills out and handed them over to his brother.

"Here"

"Thanks" Dean nodded. He still appreciated Sam's efforts even though he didn't quite understand them.

"Do you need anything else?" Sam asked. Dean was settled in bed with water, ointment and painkillers.

"I'm good for now" Dean replied.

Sam gave him a pat on the shoulder. The youngest stood up and pulled his coat on.

"Alright then. You can get some rest if you want. I'll go grab us more supplies and some food" Sam informed.

Dean nodded to let Sam know that he had heard before leaning back into bed and closing his eyes. He fell asleep almost instantly. Sam studied his brother for a while longer. He wished he could prove to his brother that he was trustworthy and that he would do anything for him but he didn't know how to do it. He understood why Dean felt this way about him and that's what hurt him the most.

He finally made his move out of the door and breathed in the fresh morning air. It woke him up slightly and he needed it because he had just spent the whole night awake watching over his brother. He was beyond tired and his lids felt heavy. Still, he had grub and supplies to pick up. Dean expected him to do that and he couldn't disappoint him again.

He slid behind the wheel and pulled the car into gear. The purring of the engine brought him back to life. He made it to the drug store first and bought bandages and ointments. They would need them to keep Dean's wound as clean as possible. He finally came to realize that he was building a headache too. He thought it must be from the fatigue but it still bugged him. He decided to grab a bottle of Advil that he could use later. His new psychic skills were giving him a headache as well. He would need the pills.

Once he was out of the drug store. He found a grocery store. He decided to buy healthy food even though he knew Dean would hate it. Still, with his injury, Dean couldn't afford to eat things that would make him sicker. He smiled to himself when he spotted the pie and thought it was a good time to make his brother happy. He also grabbed some Gatorade to rehydrate his big brother. He really had everything he needed.

On the way back, Sam found himself having a hard time focusing on the road. His eyes were drooping more and more and he even started to yawn dangerously. He was lucky the motel wasn't too far or he might have not made it back. When he entered the room, he found Dean still sleeping. He put the new supplies in the first aid kit and the food in the small fridge. He was happy that they had one for once.

After pacing for a while, he decided to sit down and rest his eyes. It couldn't hurt him to take a few minutes. He let his head lean back on the wall and realized just how exhausted he was. His whole body seemed to slump further into the mattress. A sudden thought woke him up. He had to wake Dean up to check on him and make sure he ate. He couldn't let his brother down and Dean would have all the more reasons to not trust him if he couldn't even take care of him. How many times had Dean taken care of Sam over the years? It was about time Sam started returning the favor.

With that, he lazily pushed himself off the bend and dragged his feet to the other bed. He shook Dean gently. After a few pushes, Dean opened weary eyes and fixated them on the youngest. A groan built inside his throat. The light in the room was making his head spin and his stomach churn. He remembered the concussion and silently cursed the monster who had done this to him.

"Does your head hurt much?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded but stopped short at the wave of dizziness brought on by that movement.

"It might as well split open" Dean hardly joked. _God it hurts like a bitch._

"Well I got food and fluids" Sam announced, handing Dean a bottle of Gatorade.

The thought of food made Dean feel sick to his stomach.

"Not hungry" he croaked, the bile threatening to rise.

Sam shrugged.

"You still have to eat. You lost a lot of blood. And drink that too" he commanded. Dean felt as if he was being bossed around by his little brother. He rolled his eyes and started sipping on the Gatorade.

"Did you sleep at all?" Dean finally asked noticing the dark circles under his brother's eyes. Sam actually looked like death warmed over.

"Not really. I had to wake you up at every hour"

Sam didn't intend to make Dean feel guilty but it had that effect nevertheless. The oldest looked away in shame. He didn't like to be nursed.

"Yeah well I'm fine now so get some rest" _Before you drop dead from exhaustion_.

"You're still concussed and I still have to make sure you don't develop a fever" Sam argued.

Dean rolled his eyes. Of course Sam would be stubborn. He was a Winchester after all.

"I can watch out for myself! You need to sleep Sam!"

"I'm fine Dean"

"Yeah well I won't carry you to the doctor's if you get sick because you're too damn stubborn to take care of yourself" Dean spat. Sam swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Don't worry about me" he finally said. Dean breathed out noisily. He knew this was a war he couldn't win.

Silence fell between them and Sam stood up to reach for the fridge. A sudden wave of dizziness overtook him and he debated about leaning against the wall for support or shrugging it off. His bout of vertigo finally abated and he could walk and see straight again. He continued as if nothing had happened. He couldn't let Dean see into his weakness. But Dean was no fool. He had seen the way Sam had slowed down after getting up and how he seemed unsteady on his feet.

_What the hell? Is he lying to me again?_

Sam closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Dean had seen right through him. He had to be more careful now. He wouldn't let his weakness show. But Dean couldn't know about it. He settled on making sandwiches with the food he had gotten earlier. He heard Dean clear his throat behind him.

"So uh… what happened yesterday? You know… after I passed out?"

Sam concentrated on cutting the tomatoes without cutting his fingers along the way.

"Not much. The Rakshasa went after me and I stabbed it" Sam recalled. He voluntarily left out the part about the monster knocking him down and him pretending to be unconscious. The blow to his head had really left him in a dazed state. He was glad to have made it home in one piece because he hadn't let Dean drive but he shouldn't have been driving either. Not that he would let Dean know about that.

"Nothing else? It didn't hurt you or anything?" Dean asked suspiciously. _Are you sure you're not hiding anything from me?_

Sam heard the thought right behind it and shook his head.

"Well it did push me around and all but it only left bruises. I'm fine" he tried to sound honest and reassuring.

"If you say so" _If you're lying, I'll kick your ass._

And that's when Sam understood that he couldn't tell Dean. If his brother found out that he had lied to him, Dean would tear him a new one. Even worse, he could reject Sam completely. From the way things were, Sam expected that they could be heading in that direction. He would have to take care of himself and suck it up in front of Dean.

**TBC**

**That was part 2. Thanks for the follows and feedback! Part 3 should be up soon. There's more to it as well. This story will be much longer than I expected. Woops. Reviews are love though!**


	3. Chapter 3

They sat at the small table and silently ate their sandwiches. Dean had to admit to himself that the intake of food did settle his stomach. Spending that much time sleeping and not eating would do that to him. Sam too had to admit that he was happy to be eating something. His levels of energy were running low after being awake for so long. The thought of falling asleep in his plate occurred to him but he shrugged it off before it went any further. It was not even an option in his book.

After the meal, Dean was back to sleep. He was exhausted. Sam checked his brother's temperature when Dean was mostly out of it. The youngest still had to keep an eye out for infection. He found out that the eldest's temperature was slightly elevated but it wasn't enough to warrant concern just yet. Dean had suffered a nasty traumatic injury but Sam would make sure there were no long term repercussions. The concussion had to have something to do with his brother's drowsiness as well.

Sam let Dean sleep because he figured his brother would need it. He found himself craving the idea of doing the same thing. His own bed was calling him but he kept pushing sleep away. He had a brother to watch out for. Instead of giving into the much needed sleep, he settled on watching TV until his brother awoke again.

Dean woke up with a massive headache. The light and the noises hit his senses and agony pulsated inside his skull. Sam was quickly by his side handing him water and painkillers. The eldest nodded his thanks before slouching back against the headrest with a loud exhale of air. Sam reached his side with the thermometer he had used before to keep track of Dean's temperature.

"Will you let me check your temperature you highness?" he asked teasingly.

Dean rolled his eyes and his face didn't show any sign of amusement. Sam's eyes dimmed and he had to loosen up the tension in his shoulders before he approached his brother.

"It was slightly above normal last time I checked" he admitted. Comprehension started to reach the eldest and he finally nodded, allowing for the ministrations to begin again.

Sam placed the small device in his brother's ear and waited for the machine to beep. Dean studied his brother and it's only then that he realized how worn down Sam looked. His face was pale and the circles beneath his eyes were standing out remarkably.

"Have you slept at all since last night?" Dean spurted out. Sam moved sluggishly when the thermometer finally ringed.

"I can't let you unsupervised"

"Is that because you say so, nurse Ratched?" the eldest spat out. Sam rolled his eyes. His muscles started to clench despite his best efforts to keep his cool.

"No. It's because you have a concussion and a possible infection" Sam justified, his tone elevating into one of angry concern. Dean suddenly loosened. Sam was being a stubborn ass; that much was true. But he was also doing what he would have done in the same situation. Sam stayed up all night and hovered over him, waking him up every now and then to make sure he was still tagging along. He also kept the painkillers and food close in case Dean ever needed anything. His little brother was turning into his own version of the mother-henning overprotective brother. And Dean felt bad about it because he was actually feeling guilty.

He'd been anything but supportive to his brother lately. They'd fought and shouted at each other. Dean had gone as far as to blame Sam for everything bad that happened to them. He blamed him for his choices. He also accused his brother of not being trustworthy. And here Sam was, shoving all of those facts away to take care of Dean. Maybe his brother hadn't changed so much after all? Maybe Dean was just seeing what he wanted to see to confirm what he thought about Sam. But it didn't match what Sam was. Deep down, the old Sam was still in there, ready to do what was right to save the situation.

Dean sighed and loosened most of the tension that had built inside his own muscles. _I am being too hard on him. After everything I did, he still wants to help me. God Dean, quit being an ass._

As soon as Sam heard that, his own shoulders seemed to be relieved from a heavy weight.

"So… will you just humor me for a sec and let me take care of you until you're better?" he tried. Dean breathed out noisily. Sam saw his brother rub his forehead with his hand. The eldest finally nodded.

"Sure. Uh… thank you… and… you know…" _I'm sorry._

"I know. It's fine. Now let me check out that wound before this grows into a bigger chick flick" Sam said with the beginnings of a lopsided grin. Dean gave a slight smile in return and let his brother inspect the wound.

"I think I'll need to clean it before I apply ointment again" he announced. Dean nodded.

"Alright Dr Grey. You can proceed" the eldest joked. He had a smile on and Sam couldn't retain a chuckle any longer.

"I thought you didn't watch that kind of shows" Sam teased.

Dean pulled out a guilty shrug as he'd been caught.

"What I don't! Besides, I get bored sometimes" he admitted with a _can you blame me_ look.

Sam laughed silently as he started to wash the wound. He remained cautious as to not hurt his brother. Dean frowned a few times when the rubbing of the skin pulled on his stitches but he didn't put on a show around his pain. His brother was doing a lot for him and he was grateful.

The second night was a little calmer than the previous one. Sam was pretty sure that his brother wasn't going to fall into a deep coma right next to him. Dean had felt a lot better already when he went to bed for the night. His pupils were perfectly back to normal and his head wasn't hurting so much anymore but he had the painkillers to thank for that. He thought it would finally be about time to have some sleep. He was fighting to keep his eyes open anyway and he knew that his body would fail him if he didn't get at least a few hours of rest.

He decided to put on an alarm every three hours so that he could wake up and make sure that everything was fine before going back to bed. Every time he woke up, Dean was looking peaceful. He did his usual check-ups and decided that his brother was well enough to allow himself to go back to sleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he had a hard time pulling his lids apart. His body felt incredibly heavy. If he could've stayed in bed a while longer, he would've. But checking on Dean was his priority. Instead of going back to sleep like his body asked him to, he pulled himself up and woke his brother. Dean finally aroused with a groan. He didn't seem to be too happy about waking up either.

"Morning sunshine. Time for your pills and bandage change" Sam announced.

Dean felt as though he was in the hospital with the constant nagging of the intrusive personnel. Only, there were no annoying gowns or hot nurses giving him sponge baths. There was just his bulky brother and his sleepy head. Even though Sam had gotten some sleep, he still looked horrible to Dean.

"Jesus! What do I have to do to get a hot nurse in the morning? With maybe a cup of steaming hot coffee and a sponge bath… instead I'm stuck with your ugly face" Dean blurted out with a rising cocky grin.

Sam didn't look amused when he came back with the water and first aid supplies.

"Sorry" he mumbled tonelessly.

Dean was surprised at the lack of comeback answers. Sam knew how to follow through with the banter. Dean even expected him to retort something. Anything. Not this silence.

"Lighten up, man. Seriously, you look like road kill" _Is everything okay?_

Sam shrugged. Frankly, he wasn't feeling optimal. His muscles ached from the time spent at his brother's bedside and he felt devoid of energy.

"Well, taking care of you isn't exactly part of my rejuvenating plan"

He could've smiled but he didn't find the conviction in him to do so. He just couldn't muster the strength. Instead, he grabbed the bottle of painkillers and gave his brother the usual dose. Dean nodded thankfully and swallowed the pills with the help of the water Sam had brought with him.

Sam then managed to remove the bandage from the wound in his brother's shoulder. It looked better if only slightly. The area wasn't so red anymore as it had retrieved its usual color.

"It looks good. Let's clean it again and apply some more cream. I'd say you'll be fine in a few days if it keeps going at this rate" Sam commented.

Dean nodded happily. Sam had made this happen. _Thank you Sammy_.

Sam smiled sadly. Even though he had pushed his own needs aside for two days, Dean was getting better and he was grateful. Everything seemed to fall into place and he was happy with himself for that. He proceeded to clean the wound again, like he had many times already. He wanted to make sure to keep the crap away. They'd had enough of that already. Once the wound was clean, he applied the antibiotic ointment again and bandaged the wound with new gauze.

"There you go. You'll be as good as new in no time"

"Thank you for fixing me" Dean joked. Sam nodded but a sudden pain stabbed him behind the eyes. Dean didn't miss the look of pain that crossed his face.

Sam felt the building pain in his head. It had felt funny ever since he had woken up but the dull ache had sharpened. Now his breath was picking up speed and he squinted against the pain.

"Hey, everything alright with you?" Dean asked, his concern suddenly spiking.

Sam nodded. He just wanted the attention off him.

"Yeah it's just a headache. I haven't slept much and I'm tired" he tried. It wasn't completely a lie but he wasn't exactly honest either. The headache felt as if his head would split open. A wave of nausea assaulted him next.

"You sure it's only that?" Dean asked. He was skeptical and the look of pain on his brother's face gave him permission to be.

"Of course. What else would it be?" Sam asked, massaging his head absentmindedly with the tips of his fingers.

"Right" _Could be your freaky mind powers. What about a vision? But you haven't had those in years, have you?_

Just like that, Dean was back to doubting him. It didn't take much and it revolved around his psychic abilities again. Sam felt as though they defined all the bad things in him that Dean blamed him for. Whenever something bad happened to him or between them, Dean blamed the demon blood or the abilities. If Sam could choose to not have been infected by the demon blood, he would change it in a heartbeat. Why couldn't his brother see that?

"If you're tired, you should sleep" Dean finally said. Sam sent him a quick sideways glance.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine" Sam said after a moment of silence. It was enough to bring doubts into Dean's mind. Sam shrugged it off and moved towards the bathroom.

"I'm going for a shower. I need it" he stated. Dean watched the door close behind his brother. He leaned back against the headrest and sighed. Sam was acting strange but when was he not? He decided to open the TV in hopes of distracting himself. He would also need a shower as soon as Sam got out of the bathroom. He didn't exactly feel 'fresh'.

Sam started the shower but he didn't move towards it. He still had his clothes on and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was indeed pale and he noticed the dark shadows that underlined his weary eyes. The headache wasn't abating and his stomach wasn't settling either. He remembered buying a bottle of Advil from the drug store and pulled it out of his duffel with shaky hands.

The steam of the shower started to thicken in the small room. It only served Sam's uneasiness to grow. He managed to pull the lid off the container and slip two pills on his tongue before washing them away with water. He held the porcelain of the sink tightly before allowing himself to take a step back and slip out of his clothes. The water soothed the tensions in his body and he gave into its comfort.

Dean waited for his brother to emerge from the bathroom. It was taking quite some time and he couldn't keep his worries at bay. His brother hadn't looked too hot before moving to the bathroom. Hopefully, Sam would feel better after a shower and some much needed rest. If he could give him that, he would. He felt better already anyway.

Sam managed to dress himself up without stumbling and finally moved back to the room. When he saw him come out of the bathroom, Dean targeted his attention on him. Sam felt small under the scrutiny of his brother's look. Dean was suspecting something and it was so obvious from the looks his brother was giving him.

"I'm fine Dean" Sam said immediately when he got the chance to speak. He was debating whether to laugh or be annoyed by his brother's concern.

"I was thinking about giving you a break… so you can sleep and all" Dean finally retorted.

"Can't do that. I've got a lunch to prepare because you need to eat to gain your strength back"

Dean grimaced. It felt strange to have his younger brother mother him.

"I can make myself a damn sandwich Sam" he growled.

Sam rolled his eyes as he bent into the fridge to grab the salad and the mayonnaise.

"I know you can" he replied and his lips slowly curled into a tight line. He wasn't letting this up for discussion. Dean snorted as he slouched against the wall. Sam recognized a victory when he saw one and shook his head with a light grin. His brother was unbelievable. Did he really think he was off bed rest just yet?

The youngest trotted over to the table with two plates. He put them down and turned to Dean. The oldest was dozing off. Sam cleared his throat and at the sound, Dean's eyes snapped open.

"Diner's ready" Sam announced when his brother's eyes landed on him. Dean nodded slowly and pushed himself off the bed. He dragged his feet to the table and let himself crash into the chair. That small walk had shown him just how rusted he was and he leaned harder against the chair.

Sam came back to the table with cups filled with coffee. Dean's smile widened into his face.

"Yeah I thought you'd like some coffee" Sam said. He didn't admit to his brother that he had actually heard Dean's inners cries for a warm cup of coffee. Hearing thoughts had its perks too.

"Awesome" he said simply, already sipping at the hot beverage. He moved to his sandwich right after that and devoured it with appetite. Sam watched the scene in amusement. Dean would recover his strength soon with all that appetite.

"I bought pie too" he informed, holding his lips before his smile became too obvious.

Dean was looking at him with wide eyes. "When were you planning on telling me?" he accused.

Sam let out a shy chuckle. "Just did"

Then he looked at his own sandwich and his stomach churned. He wasn't too hungry and honestly didn't feel so good but in his state, eating was not optional. It was a necessity. He heard Dean daydream about the slice of pie he was going to enjoy. It seemed to push him to start eating though.

Sam started nibbling on his sandwich but then realized that it made his stomach feel worse. He ate as much as he could but he didn't find the strength to finish his meal or he feared that it would appear back up only in a different form. Dean noticed that he hadn't finished his food but he didn't verbally comment on it. Sam still heard what he thought about it anyway and it didn't please him.

The day went by smoothly. Dean had regained some strength and decided that he needed some fresh air. Sam agreed to accompany him and they walked over to the nearest diner. Dean wouldn't have anymore of Sam's sandwiches that day. He had said it politely but he didn't know that Sam could hear what he really thought. The youngest didn't argue when they headed out but it was only to keep his feelings safe. The things he could hear… Even when Dean was being rude verbally, he was still politically correct compared to what he was thinking inside.

Dean ordered a burger and almost swallowed it in one go. Sam chose the soup and he hardly managed to down it all before his stomach threatened to rebel. He pretended to just need to use the bathroom but when he reached the cabinet, he keeled over and waited for the nausea to pass. He didn't know what or why but something was definitely up with him. His head had been pounding all day and his stomach was churning. Maybe he really needed that sleep. He would have to hold Dean on his proposal for a break. He needed the discharge.

Sam managed to shake the tremors away from his body. He walked over to the mirror and leaned his weight against the counter. The light made him squint away from it. He covered his eyes as the pain increased inside his skull. Sam pulled out the Advil and dry swallowed two of them. The sooner they got back to the motel, the sooner he could sleep. He turned on the faucet and let the cool water run against his fingers. His bangs fell into his face and he pushed them back with his damp fingers. The coolness of the water felt incredibly soothing against his skin. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He had to go back or Dean would worry.

He weakly made it back to the table. Dean instantly noticed that something was off and his eyes rounded with worry. Sam knew what was coming because he could hear all the silent train of curses that followed Dean's actual words.

"What's up with you?" _Jesus Sam you look like shit_.

"'M tired… I think I need to sleep"

"No shit Sherlock. You sure it's just that? You've been in there for a while" _Are you getting sick on me?_

"I'll be fine Dean. I just need to lie down for a while" he admitted.

Dean nodded, his eyes still wide and unbelieving.

"Sure. Whatever you need. Let's go back"

Sam agreed and they left the diner quickly. The walk back was a little trickier than he'd expected. He was unexpectedly dizzy and struggled to remain upright. It took a lot out of him to keep up the façade for Dean. When they finally reached the room, he was beyond exhausted. He crashed on his bed without removing his shoes. He was almost asleep instantly but he remembered he had to check Dean over before going to bed.

"Oh lemme check your shoulder one last time" he asked, weakly pushing himself from his bed.

Dean tensed up and Sam thought that he saw anger flash in his brother's eyes.

"No way! I'll do that! Come on Sam I can take care of myself damn it! You need to sleep. You can hardly stand!" he exclaimed suddenly. Sam was taken aback by the sudden outburst. Dean saw the tension in his brother's body and deflated visibly. When he spoke again, his voice was much softer.

"I'm sorry Sam but come on. How can I trust you to take care of me if I can't trust you to take care of yourself" he pointed out. He didn't mean to hurt his brother. He just wanted Sam to take a break for once and rest.

Sam finally nodded albeit weakly. He slipped his shoes off and dragged his long limbs into the bed. He was asleep almost immediately when his head hit the pillow. Dean sighed and stretched his hand towards his brother's forehead. Feeling no fever, he breathed out in relief and moved to the bathroom. He did have a wound to attend to.

Attending to his own wound ended up being more of a challenge than Dean expected. He flinched as he bent and moved from side to side to try to remove the bandage. Once the skin was revealed, he sighed a sigh of relief when he thought the worst was over. He started washing the area and moved his fingers gently to avoid hurting himself. Once the wound was cleaned, he proceeded to apply the ointment himself. He concluded that he did enjoy having a hand from his brother but Sam had more important things to do at the moment like recover from whatever it was that plagued him.

When he walked back to the room, he noticed that Sam hadn't moved ever since he had gone to the bathroom. Dean shrugged and returned to the bathroom with the profound desire to bathe. Washing himself came as a relief and a comforting experience. Sam still hadn't even twitched when entered the bedroom. It occurred to him that Sam would mostly sleep through the night and with the lack of interaction this situation provided, he decided to settle for the TV. There was nothing interesting on but he wasn't really paying attention anyway. He slowly and finally drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he found his brother still oblivious to the world. He thought that Sam must have been really exhausted and decided not to push it. Unfortunately, hours passed and Sam still showed no sign of coming around. Dean's brow furrowed when the clock reached noon. His brother really should've been up by now. Worried, he walked over to his brother's bed and sat down gently next to the sleeping form. He pulled out a firm hand and shook Sam. Firm but gentle.

At first there was no reaction but then Sam started to come around slowly. At first it was just a growl but eventually, his brother's hazel eyes fluttered open. Dean noticed how Sam's forehead creased as if he were in high levels of pain.

"D'n?" Sam slurred as he looked around the room with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah I'm right here" he said when Sam's eyes finally locked on him.

"What's going on?"

It was Dean's turn to frown. Sam was so… _out of it_.

"I figured I'd wake you up before you decided to sleep all day" he admitted with concern leaking through his words.

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them again, Dean thought his brother still looked _so_ tired. The youngest's brow creased.

"What time is it?" he asked, his eyes squinting away from the light that leaked through the curtains.

Dean noticed and traced Sam's look up to the curtain. He didn't know if the light was puzzling Sam because he didn't know what time it was or if it actually hurt him to look at it. Sam's expression was undecipherable.

"It's past noon" Dean finally announced.

Sam's eyes widened and he sprouted in his bed.

"It's ok. Don't work yourself up. You needed the rest" Dean reassured quickly. Sam looked at him in disbelief.

"You didn't wake me up" he accused but he also wanted to know why.

"Like I said, you needed the rest" Dean replied.

Sam seemed to calm slightly but still not enough for Dean's comfort. Something seemed off.

"How are you feeling?"

Sam looked at him and then looked at himself as if the answer didn't come to him immediately.

"Better I guess" he tried. He didn't feel as tired as he did the day before but he could still feel the remnants of a dulling headache.

"You sure?"

"Yes Dean. What about your shoulder?" he asked, suddenly changing the target of attention.

Dean's eyes glided towards his own shoulder.

"I cleaned it yesterday after you went to bed and this morning too while you were having your beauty rest"

Sam snorted but he was actually too groggy to come up with a reply.

"Okay then. What about now?"

Dean looked at him intensely and then traveled his gaze up and down, again studying his brother.

"I was actually thinking about moving. We've been here long enough and we're wasting time. We don't know where Lilith is and she might be breaking seals again for all we know. I think we should get moving" he explained.

Sam nodded. He knew Dean was right but he had a bad feeling about it. He didn't know if he was up to traveling yet. But then again, if his brother wanted to move they should be moving. Dean was the one who had gotten hurt and if he was ready to go than Sam really had no excuse to hold them back. He nodded stiffly after deciding to put his own feelings aside. He'd done enough damage in his relationship with Dean to start holding him back as well.

"Alright then. Get your stuff, we're leaving in an hour" Dean announced.

Sam nodded. He wasn't too hot about the idea but the last thing he wanted right then was to go against anything his brother said. If Dean wanted to move then he would get his things in gear and move.

One hour later they were both ready and packing the car. Sam had taken an extra dose of Advil to keep the aches away. The headache had spiked quickly and the nausea quickly followed. He hoped to keep them under control with the high dosage of ibuprofen he had just ingested. Dean argued that he was well enough to drive and Sam didn't find the strength to stop him.

Dean gunned the engine and soon there were back to the interstate and moving towards where the road would lead them. Still sporting a very mild headache, Dean didn't push on blasting his music through the speakers and Sam was incredibly grateful. The ride was silent and the youngest was unusually quiet. They drove for a few hours before Dean announced that they had to stop for gas.

Sam was leaning his head against the cool window and his eyes were drooping. His headache had been dulled to a simple buzzing in the back of his head and the occasional pulsing waves of pain that made him grit his teeth and clench his fists. Dean had taken an exit on the interstate and they ended up on a quiet road leading to a small town. The gas station was at a corner, right when they veered off the main road. The eldest pulled the car to a stop. He turned to meet his brother, only to see that Sam was dozing off next to him.

"You need anything?" he asked.

Aside from Sam's head lolling against the window, he didn't show any sign of awareness.

"Sam?" Dean asked, his voice rising in volume. Sam didn't as much as twitch.

"SAM?" Dean tried again only louder this time and shoving his brother's shoulder carefully but firmly. Slivers of hazel finally appeared. They were soon followed by a groan and eyebrows knitting together.

"What?" he mumbled softly.

"You feelin' okay?"

Sam's eyes opened a little wider and he studied the environment.

"Where are we?" he asked, ignoring the previous question.

Dean frowned and looked out of the window at the signs above the garage station.

"Gas. I told you like fifteen minutes ago that we had to stop for gas" Dean stated, concern building inside of him at his brother's confused state.

Sam didn't answer and mostly, he didn't make any sign to show that he remembered or even acknowledged what Dean was talking about. His brow creased deeper.

"Sam, are you feeling okay?" _You're scaring me man!_

Sam flinched when he heard his brother's voice resonate inside his skull. He had forgotten about that and the echo made his head want to implode. He closed his eyes in an attempt to contain the pain so it didn't tear his brain to shreds. His head felt as though it would suddenly combust. He could hardly make out Dean's voice anymore. The tone slowly brought him back though, when he felt the urgency behind it.

"Sammy? What's going on? I'm right here, it's okay. Just tell me what's going on!" Dean pleaded. His voice finally reached his brain and he suddenly calmed down at the use of the nickname. It had been a long time since his brother had called him _Sammy_. It felt good and strangely soothing. He concentrated on taking deep breaths and finally came to his senses. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Dean's worried green eyes locked on his face.

"'M okay" he slurred out, his voice unconvincing.

"Like hell you are! Don't lie to me Sam"

Sam flinched at the tone of his brother's voice.

"'S just a headache" he mumbled.

Dean studied him for seconds. He almost looked unbelieving.

"Again? You complained about headaches yesterday too. Do you have a concussion you're not telling me about?" Dean wondered, suddenly wondering what exactly happened while he was unconscious in the forest.

"Don't think so"

"Let me see" Dean blurted out before Sam could do anything. He was in his face within seconds and checked his pupils.

"Your pupils are fine" he stated disappointedly because it didn't explain what was wrong with Sam and he was left with mysteries all over again.

"Told you s'just a h'dache. 'M fine" Sam slurred, closing his eyes against the pain.

"Did you take aspirin?"

"Advil in my pocket" he mumbled, massaging his head.

Dean reached for the bottle of pills and slipped two out to give them to Sam. The latter swallowed them dry and closed his eyes again.

"Alright then. We'll find a motel and stop for the night so you can rest" Dean decided.

Sam didn't even complain. This only added to Dean's queries. The youngest slumped against the cool window again. Dean sighed. He filled his tank with gas and they were gone as soon as it was done with. The nearest town was twenty minutes away but Dean made it in fifteen. He drove to the first motel he found and ran inside to check in. Sam hadn't moved when he came back to the car to get him. He had to shake him awake once more. It took longer than it had before and Sam finally pushed himself out of the car. His movements were sluggish and he was unsteady when he walked into the room.

He let himself fall on the first bed he found he desperately wanted to fall asleep again. Staying awake was increasingly difficult. Dean didn't like the look of things but he didn't push it. Sam had had migraines before and he knew how they could knock him off his feet and on his ass for days. The lack of sleep and the stress surely hadn't helped and most likely triggered the pain. Knowing his brother like the back of his hand, Dean pulled the curtains closed and managed to have as little light and noise he could manage to help Sam. His brother was asleep in no time.

Dean sighed helplessly and decided to make a run for grub. His stomach was starting to scream in protest. He found a diner near the motel and ordered himself a cheeseburger. His meal wasn't enjoyable as much as when he had Sam with him. No matter how angry or disappointed he got at his brother, he still cared nonetheless. On his way back to the room, he stopped at the drug store to make sure they had all the supplies they needed. His wound looked much better now. He had definitely avoided infection. He'd been lucky. Or maybe it was all because he had a caring little brother who took care of him. Dean had to admit Sam had done a lot for him.

He walked back to the motel and followed through with the same routine he had followed the night before. He proceeded to wash himself and his wound before bandaging it with clean gauze. After that he settled in his bed and fell asleep watching bad television. Sam hadn't twitched the whole time.

Dean woke up to a familiar scenery. Once again, Sam was still asleep in his own bed and hadn't been moving too much from what Dean could tell. But on top of that, his younger brother was unnaturally pale. Worried, Dean moved towards his brother's bed and started shaking him awake.

Sam groaned but he didn't wake. Dean shook him harder.

"Come on Sammy! Wake up damn it! You're scaring me!"

Sam whimpered. It interrupted any attempt Dean could have performed to rouse him. Of all the things his brother did, he didn't _whimper_.

"Sam?"

Sam's hands went straight for his head. He clutched at it desperately with whitening knuckles.

"Sam, please! Talk to me" _What the hell is going on with you?_

The pain in the youngest's head spiked when his psychic abilities took over. Dean's thoughts reverberated in his skull like an undying echo that rattled his brain.

"'ts okay. 'm okay D…" Sam gasped. He was trying to get his brother off him so he could finally breathe but the pain made even that difficult.

"Don't lie to me, Sam" Dean growled. He was tired of the lies. Then he heard Sam swallow compulsively. Out of instinct, but mostly experience, he darted for the trash can.

"D'n…" Sam shrieked as his stomach started to rebel. Dean offered the can just in time to salvage the stained comforter. The youngest choked and gagged while his older brother watched with increasing fear.

"Just breathe through it Sam. Then I need you to tell me exactly what is going on"

Sam was heaving now. There was nothing left to throw up but bile and saliva. That little action had exhausted him and he found himself craving for sleep. But hadn't he just woken up?

"Not feelin' good" he finally admitted. There was no point in hiding it any longer.

Dean sighed. He felt bad for the kid. "I know you don't. What's wrong with you?"

Sam closed his eyes as dizziness overtook him. Dean's breath hitched, watching his brother's lids droop. His panic skyrocketed and he was starting to consider a little trip to the clinic.

"Hey Sammy! You with me?"

"Mhmmm" came as Sam's only reply. His eyes were still closed. Dean grabbed his brother's shoulders and held him tightly.

"When did you start feeling sick?" Dean asked, already starting his duty of triaging his brother.

"Don' know… days" Sam mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes. When he finally did, Dean could see how glassy they were.

"Did the Rakshasa hurt you?" Dean asked after noting once more that Sam's temperature wasn't elevated. It wasn't just the flu or another nasty virus.

"What?" Sam asked, squinting. The pain was reaching unbearable levels.

"The hunt Sam? Did you hurt yourself during the hunt?" Dean was trying to get his brother to focus but he could see the growing veil that covered his brother's awareness. Sam was fading. Fast.

The youngest was dumbstruck and silent. Dean was feeling a new sense of urgency clawing at his guts.

"Hunt? Where're we? Why's my head hurt?" Sam slurred, confusion painted in bold letters across his eyes.

Dean's jaw clenched. He had to figure out what was wrong before things went south.

"I knew I should've checked you for concussion" Dean rasped out, trying to get a clear look of Sam's pupils. They were only so slightly enlarged that he couldn't conclude to anything official.

Sam's vision started to blur. He was already utterly confused and disoriented and his brother's words seemed to come from farther away every time they reached his brain. His comprehension was growing sluggish as well and that was before even trying to verbalize anything. Slowly everything became a blur of color and sounds.

"D…" he breathed out, his eyes rolling in their sockets.

Dean's head snapped up and he watched with horror as Sam's fingers griped his arm tightly as if his brother was terrified to let go. And then complete void filled his little brother's eyes before they rolled back into his head.

"Sammy!"

**TBC**

**Hehe this is the moment I enjoy the most! The evil cliffhanger! lol. Sorry can't help it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, don't forget to tell me what you thought. I also thank you again guys; for the feedback and adding the story to your follow/favorite list. It's amazing to see that support :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Dean's head snapped up and he watched with horror as Sam's fingers griped his arm tightly as if his brother was terrified to let go. And then complete void filled his little brother's eyes before they rolled back into his head. _

"_Sammy!"_

"Sam? SAM!"

Dean was yelling at his unresponsive brother. Sam remained nothing but a motionless heap on the sheets. His big brother tried to shake him and tapped his cheek but it didn't seem to be enough to rouse the kid.

"Damn it, Sam! Wake up! Don't do this" he pleaded as his little brother's eyes remained closed.

Dean started fumbling for his cell. It would be his safety net. In a few minutes, if his brother didn't show any signs of waking, he'd have to call for help. He wasn't a fan of medical services but one thing he hated more was seeing his brother hurt. And he wouldn't let Sam get worse.

Sure enough, the youngest started fidgeting. Dean couldn't help the relief that he was starting to exhale. He couldn't forget the fact that Sam had kept this hidden from him for days. His brother's last words kept echoing in his mind over and over. Sam had been hurting for days. But Dean was hurt and Sam had taken care of Dean.

A bitter taste of pain and guilt built in his mouth, thickening his tongue and blocking his airway. His worry was going to suffocate him. He was reminded once again that Sam was really going to be the death of him.

The youngest was fluttering back to life and Dean was growing anxious. He was finally going to find out more about what was going on with that brother of his but he wasn't sure if he was ready to know. What if it was bad?

"Come on, Sammy. Open them eyes. Stop being a tease!" he breathed out, a sad attempt of a smile creeping up his lips.

Long lashes fluttered to reveal slivers of dull hazel. Dean wasn't oblivious to the groan that escaped his brother's lips as the latter brought a hand up to his forehead, his eyes slightly rolling back. Dean's panic skyrocketed.

"Hey hey no sleeping. You're not doing that again! Sam!"

His tone had come out authoritative. He didn't mean to sound so much like his father. But that must have caused a reaction in his brother's brain because Sam's eyes remained open, albeit veiled by something Dean didn't want to define. Sam was just fine, wasn't he?

"D…"

It was muffled and barely audible but Dean had heard it clearly.

"Yeah, I'm right here. How are you feeling?" he quickly asked, trying to assess his brother's condition. Sam was hardly moving and keeping his eyes open seemed to drain away his precious reserves of energy.

"D…?"

The voice sounded worried now. Dean didn't miss the frown on his brother's face or the way his breathing picked up. Sam was frantic.

"What is it? Sam? Sam! Talk to me!" he pleaded, cupping his brother's cheeks with both his hands when Sam started looking around in confusion. Now that he was seeing things from up close, he realized how dark his brother's gaze was. _Damn it_, he thought.

Sam cringed and closed his eyes. Dean was on alert mode again, not knowing what had caused his brother to flinch away from him like he had.

"M' eyes" Sam breathed out of sheer panic.

Dean's jaw clenched.

"Yeah I know, your pupils are huge man" he noted with worry. Sam's eyes had been fine up until now. While his brother had been nursing him and almost spoon-feeding him, he had forgotten to mention that he had hit his head too. It must have been during the hunt for the Rhakshasa. Dean didn't see any other explanation.

"'ts not that" Sam slurred. Dean could see the panic on his brother's face and his stomach flipped flopped in his belly. He thought he would be sick when his brother continued.

"Can't see anything on m' left"

Dean frowned deeply.

"Wait. Come again?"

Sam started to pant out of panic.

"Dean! I see what's on my right but all of what's on my left is black!" he choked out, is voice involuntarily louder from fear.

Dean's eyes snapped open. His safety net was becoming his only chance. This wasn't something he could fix. Was Sam getting _blind_? This wasn't a regular concussion. Something was seriously wrong with his brother. That thought was only confirmed when his brother retched all over himself. Dean rushed the trash can to the bed before Sam messed it up more.

Hospital wasn't an option. It was a necessity. He shakily called an ambulance and the sympathetic receptionist assured him that someone would be there soon. Dean was too distracted to listen to her. He had switched his attention back to Sam right after the lady had said help was on the way. The rest didn't matter as much as keeping his brother from choking on his own vomit.

"It's okay, Sammy. Let it out"

He patted his brother's back while Sam gagged and cough. When his breathing returned to a somewhat normal rhythm, Dean picked a hoodie up from Sam's duffle and walked to his brother's side.

"Okay let's get you out of those clothes" he started.

Sam only groaned and his eyes were fluttering. He was slumping over and growing heavier by the second. Dean snapped.

"No! No sleeping! Stay awake, Sam!"

Sam flinched at the tone but it seemed to work because he fought to keep his eyes open. Dean felt terrible for yelling but he was scared out of his mind.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm sorry for yelling but you can't fall asleep okay? Please help me help you. Let's get you out of that stinky shirt, alright" the eldest explained on a much softer tone.

Sam nodded softly and let Dean maneuver him out of the shirt that he had vomited on. Dean slipped the hoodie on because it was much simpler to handle than a tee. He zipped it up front and manhandled Sam off his bed and on his clean one. He'd take care of the rest later.

"Tired, D…"

Dean's heart pinched and his stomach clenched. His little brother was so far from alright and he felt powerless. He had no idea what was going on and he was terrified of not knowing how to do the right thing to help the kid.

"I know you are. But you have to stay awake for me. Help will be here soon and they'll take care of you"

Sam's bottom lip trembled as he seemed to grow heavier again. Dean managed to keep him upright and even let Sam lean against his shoulder. He wouldn't admit to it later if questioned but at least, he was close enough to his brother so that he would be able to hear anything… a change in his brother's breathing or in his heartbeat… He felt his brother trembling. When he turned to study him, Sam was almost in tears.

"Are you going to leave me?" he asked with the voice of a terrified child.

Dean's heart pinched.

"Why would you think that?" he asked, concerned for his brother. _Not when you're like this. _

"Help is coming right? Because I'm weak. They'll take me away and you'll leave…" Sam said, ignoring Dean's thoughts in his head that made him tremble some more.

Dean stiffened. He hadn't thought he could feel worse than he did but apparently, there was still a whole level of pain that he hadn't explored yet.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not leaving you Sam. I'm coming with you" he assured. _There's no way I'm leaving you._

Sam frowned. Something didn't click in his mind or maybe he was really confused still. Dean couldn't tell.

"You are? But Dean, that hunt was my last chance and I blew it. I failed you" Sam whimpered.

Dean had never seen the kid so broken but something else caught his attention.

"Last chance? Where'd you get that from?" _Yeah, what the hell?!_

Sam tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. He was still shaking. Part of it was because he was growing colder too.

"Doesn't matter… leave D… don't stay for me… you don't have to" he breathed out, clutching at his forehead with a grimace of pain.

The eldest felt like his entrails were crushed and ripped out of him.

"Sam, I'm not leaving you. There's no place I'd rather be right now. Sure, we've had our issues lately but you're still my baby brother. Now, cut the crap and let me help you" _Damn it, what happened to us?_

Sam didn't know what to say. Dean wrapped his arm around him to try to provide some reassurance and it worked to appease his shivering. He finally let a slight smile glide its way across his lips.

"A rock" Sam breathed out softly. Dean looked like he was sincere and Sam was ready to start trusting him again.

Dean frowned at Sam's statement and spun his head around to face his brother.

"What?"

"A rock. The Rhakshasa shoved me an' I… hit m' head n' a rock" the youngest confessed.

Dean took in a long breath and clenched his fists. Not only had Sam lied to him about not getting hurt during the hunt but he'd also taken care of him while neglecting his own injuries. On top of that he had drove Dean's car! Sam had insisted to drive the Impala when his injuries were maybe worse than Dean's. _To think I let you drive my baby… and you've kept this hidden from me for days!_

He wanted to snap – all hell break loose and everything – but he couldn't do that to Sam. Not now, not when Sam was hurting so much that he was actually opening up. For Sam to admit what had happened, he had to know that he was in bad shape and that not telling Dean would do more damage than feel Dean's wrath after telling him the truth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, breathing deeply to try and keep his calm. _All this time you were taking care of me instead. I should've known. _

"Wasn't all that bad at first… you were worse… had to take care 'f you" Sam breathed out, closing his eyes while inhaling as much oxygen as he could possibly stock in his tight lungs. He knew Dean was going to have a master trip down the lane of guilt but at the time, it had seemed like the right thing to do.

Dean didn't know if he wanted to yell or to cry. That was his Sammy alright; putting himself aside for others. Where had he forgotten that? Had his trust for Sam burned in Hell? Because surely enough, he could still count on Sam to have his back. The only thing he allowed himself to be angry at was how he couldn't trust Sam to have Sam's back.

"Sammy…" was the only thing he could say while the familiar sting of tears burned his eyes. _I should hate you man… but I can't_.

Sam closed his eyes, a slight smile lighting his face. "s'okay D… you're safe… do it again if had to…"

Dean shook his head. He could finally hear the sirens and his hearth filled with warmth.

"Stop it, Sam. That's nonsense. My life's not worth more than yours. You pull that stunt again and I'll kill you myself" _I mean it_.

But Dean's voice wasn't angry. It wasn't hard or murderous. It was just broken. Soft and broken.

"sorry…" the youngest replied breathily. He hadn't meant to cause Dean that much pain.

Dean's eyes filled to the rim with tears but he didn't let them spill. Sam was sinking deeper into his shoulder when he realized that the knocking he heard was from outside their door.

"Hey Sammy, help is here" he chimed as he turned to lift his brother off of his shoulder. Sam's head lolled on his neck.

"Sam? Sam!"

But once more, his brother was out like a light. Dean hated this. He hated himself. But at least help was here and they could take over from there. They weren't helpless anymore.

"It's okay. They're here. They're going to help you" he assured while almost running to the door, never taking his eyes off his brother in case Sam decided to vanish while he wasn't looking.

Dean opened the door to two paramedics; a man and a woman. He quickly pointed to the bed where Sam was sprawled, unconscious. Both medics quickened their pace and started their assessment.

"How long as he been unconscious?" the lady asked, checking Sam's neck for any signs of obstruction.

"He was conscious like a minute ago" Dean admitted, confused at how quickly things had deteriorated.

"And how was he? Was he speaking to you?" she continued, opening Sam's mouth and peering down his throat.

"Yeah talking… his speech was more fragmented though… slurred words and incomplete sentences" Dean admitted. He hated the meaning of it all but he knew he had to cooperate if he wanted to help Sam.

"Are you aware of any injury he could have had to his head" the man asked, taking his equipment out.

"Yeah he… he didn't tell me this before now but… we were in the forest a few days ago and he fell… admitted today that he hit his head on a rock" Dean explained, guilt knotting his stomach. If he had known, he could have done something. _Damn it Sammy, why didn't you say anything!_

"Possible head trauma. We need to stabilize him. Get the c collar" the woman stated.

The man nodded and pulled the collar out. They carefully stabilized the young man's neck with it.

"Let's get the backboard under him"

They maneuvered Sam on the backboard and used it to lay him on the floor where they had the largest space to work. Dean could only stand back and watch as the woman unzipped the hoodie and examined his brother's chest. The Winchester assumed she was checking his breathing. He saw the small nod she gave her partner after that. He then put his fingers to his brother's wrist while checking his watch.

She looked at him while expecting his report. Dean was watching intensely too, waiting for them to let him in on what was happening to his brother.

"Bradycardic" he announced.

"Signs of increasing ICP*?" the woman asked, waiting for her partner to approve her diagnosis.

"LOC*?"

"What's his name?" the woman asked finally turning towards the anxious brother. It took a few seconds for Dean to realize that he'd been spoken to and asked a question.

"Sam" he managed to reply without much of a voice.

"We're taking care of him, don't worry" the woman assured with a sympathetic smile. Dean tried to smile back but he only managed to grimace instead.

"Sam? Sam can you wake up for me please?" the male medic was asking. Sam remained unresponsive and Dean's stomach tightened even more.

The medic tried again but he grabbed Sam's hand this time and Dean saw that he was pressing his brother's hand. After having his name called a few times, Sam groaned and his eyelashes fluttered.

"He's responsive" the woman noted.

It seemed to take a lot of strength out of Sam to perform the simple task of opening his eyes. When he finally did, he was rewarded with three heads studying him down and the feeling of being trapped and unable to move. That was definitely a nice position to wake into.

"Sam? Sam can you hear me?" the male paramedic asked, shining a penlight in his eyes.

Sam blinked sluggishly.

"Sammy?" Dean butted in when Sam looked confused and almost terrified. At the moment he heard Dean's voice though, his body seemed to relax.

"D'n" he slurred.

The woman medic turned to the eldest. "What did he say?"

"Dean" Sam repeated, coughing to clear his voice. Dean was proud of his kid at that right moment. He couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, your awesome big brother is here" Dean replied faking his cocky reply, but Sam could still read the softness in those green eyes. Dean kneeled down next to his brother so Sam could have him in his line of vision. It was limited after all.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked, noticing from the corner of his eyes that the male paramedic was examining Sam's limbs while the female one allowed him to question his brother if that would make her patient talk.

"Head hur's" Sam slurred, squinting at the light. Both medics looked at each other and Dean wasn't stupid enough to believe that this exchanged look didn't mean anything.

"Pupils are dilated and sluggish" the man said, finally voicing the results of his earlier testing.

The woman bit her bottom lip and turned to look at Sam. Dean was faster though.

"Vision?"

Sam moved his eyes from side to side as if trying to self-assess his condition.

"Blurred" he finally concluded.

Annie cleared her throat and swallowed. Both brothers turned their attention to her.

"Hello Sam. My name is Annie. I'm a paramedic and I'm here to help you, okay. Do you remember how you hurt your head?"

While she waited for an answer, she started to place electrodes on his bared chest.

"Fell" he finally replied after a good moment of reflection. His eyes crossed Dean's and a brief look was shared between them.

"Did you hit your head?" she asked again, now fixing the pulse oximeter to his finger and starting the whole machinery to get a reading. When she didn't get an answer, she turned to see Sam's face. He was blinking sluggishly.

"Sam?" Dean asked. His voice was tainted with concern.

"…guess so…" he finally said before closing his eyes. Annie eyed the monitor and studied the numbers. Then a smell caught her nose and she turned to the bed Dean had dragged Sam away from.

"That vomit?"

"Yeah, just before you two got here" Dean admitted.

The male paramedic checked the monitors too and proceeded to retrieve a set of equipment. He unpacked a set of cannulas of different sizes. He connected one of them to an oxygen tank and made sure that the air was flowing through. He kneeled next to Sam afterwards.

"Sam? My name is Jason. You are showing signs of increased intracranial pressure. Are you still feeling nauseous?" Jason asked.

Sam looked at him and blinked slowly, moaning in response. Jason nodded.

"Right now we'd like to administer low-flow oxygen. It'll help with the headache and the nausea. We'll settle an IV right after that. That okay with you?" the medic informed before asking for consent.

"…guess so…" Sam finally moaned. Jason nodded. He could see the confusion written in the other man's eyes. As long as the brother was around and not objecting though, he would carry on with the procedure.

Chills racked Sam's body and he flinched slightly when the medic slipped the cold plastic tube under his nose and up his nostrils. He couldn't deny the fact that it did make him feel better. Jason then proceeded to find a vein in his arm and softly pushed a needle into it. A second cannula was connecting said needle to a bag of fluids.

"Let's give him 25 mg of _Phenergan_" Jason started.

Annie nodded and disinfected Sam's bicep before proceeding to inject the drug directly into the muscle. The sting made Sam cringe slightly. He looked at the needle with glassy eyes.

"This'll help with the nausea" she explained while Sam blinked up at her.

Jason walked over to Dean's side with his pad, mentioning that he had more questions that Dean could probably answer. It was really just general information but Dean understood that they needed it so he gave the answers he knew so well and picked out fake names and fake insurances. He also confirmed that Sam had no medical conditions or allergies known and which would be relevant.

Sam's eyes were opened to slits and Dean could tell that his brother was fighting to keep them open. He was a proud big brother even though he wouldn't go as far as to actually say that out loud. He could hear Sam's moans and he prayed for the interrogation to be over so that they could get moving.

"Sam, I need to know if you have taken anything for the pain" Annie demanded.

"Does it matter?" Dean asked, seeing that they should be moving already.

"It's crucial actually" the woman informed. Dean looked at her seriously. She stared back, not showing any signs of weakness in the staring contest.

"Advil…" Sam breathed out, his eyes starting to roll in their sockets.

It seemed to shock the woman because she stiffened and prepared to leave. "Let's roll. The sooner we get him in, the sooner he gets to go home" she said.

Dean couldn't agree more. He was ready to follow. Of course, he wasn't going to argue on that either.

"Are you riding along?" Annie asked, seeing that Dean was sticking near them.

"I was hoping to hop in" he admitted.

"D…" Sam breathed out, extending his fingers into his brother's direction. The woman could observe what strange bond the brothers had and she couldn't imagine herself splitting them apart. Most siblings would have been freaked or overwhelmed but Dean just remained there and reassured his brother when the boy needed it. It was almost as if they'd done it before…

"Sure, as long as you let me enough room so that I can work"

Dean smiled gratefully.

"You got it m'am"

She cringed. "Please call me Annie" she almost begged with a smile. She wasn't oblivious to the Winchester charms either. The oldest was mysterious but caring at the same time. And the youngest? If it weren't for all that sickness, he would've been her kind of cute too. She wasn't much older than them after all.

"And I'm…" Dean started but Annie spoke up at the same moment.

"…You're Dean, I know" she grinned with an amused nod.

Dean smiled dumbly. Of course he was Dean. Sam had croaked his name many times already.

"The one and only" he finally said cockily.

"D'n… still here" Sam interjected albeit his voice being too weak to really make a point.

"'course you are, Sammy" he replied, turning to his brother. Sam rolled his eyes. Dean was filled with sudden warmth because his little brother was still there somehow, throwing eyerolls whenever his big brother was acting up.

"Let's get you fixed up. You'll be good and runnin' in no time" Dean assured with a smile.

"…not a car, D'n…" Sam sighed. Dean couldn't hold the chuckle. Oh yeah, that was his Sam alright.

They loaded the gurney in the back of the ambulance and Dean understood why he had to keep quiet. The space in the back of the emergency vehicle was rather limited and there were higher priorities to him than his personal comfort.

Something gave him complete trust in Annie too. She hadn't been anything but nice to them from the beginning. She held her calm too, in a way that reassured Dean. She even told him all about the different equipment and what to expect once they reached the hospital. He was glad to have her take care of Sam. As of late, he had done a piss-poor job at that, but he was determined to make it up to Sam as soon as his brother was better.

Dean could see that Sam was fighting sleep but the war was tiring his brother. Sam occasionally moaned when they hit a bump or when he squinted at the light. Dean was keeping his eyes on his brother's vitals even though he hardly had any idea of what they meant. He heard Annie reporting on her radio.

"Yeah, I've got a male, 26, possible head trauma with signs of increasing ICP. GCS* around 12, sats are 94 on oxygen and pulse is 52. Pupils are equally reactive but sluggish and enlarged. BP's 142/92 and skin is cold" she reported.

"_Copy that. Keep monitoring vitals and LOC closely. Also watch out for signs of seizure activity. Is he conscious?_"

"Barely"

Dean was listening in on the conversation and a sense of foreboding washed over him. He didn't know what all of that meant but it couldn't mean anything good. Sam wasn't looking too hot either. His brother was drifting in and out of consciousness.

"D'n?" Sam rasped out, his voice hoarse and barely audible except for the grating in it.

Dean tried to step as close to Sam as he could without hindering the medical care he was provided.

"Yeah Sammy?"

Sam's breathing had quickened and he was looking everywhere with confused and glassy eyes. Dean felt his own breathing hitch. He put a hand to Sam's shoulder for reassurance although it could've been his own more than his brother's.

"…'m sorry…"

Dean felt his chest constrict.

"Sam, don't do that. Don't apologize. You've got nothing to apologize for. Why don't you focus on breathing instead? That'd be good enough for me" he instructed.

Sam nodded lightly and performed as he was told. Even in the current situation, he'd still trust anything that came from his brother, especially when it was meant to keep him safe.

"I… I think Ruby's lying to me…" he confessed after taking a number of deep breaths. He didn't miss the frown on his brother's forehead, even in his state of fuzziness.

"I hate to say I told you so" Dean finally replied. Sam shook his head. Dean looked at him, puzzled. His younger brother was blinking up at him.

"You love to say that" he finally managed to say. Dean couldn't help the corners of his mouth from twisting into a slightly amused but mostly nervous smile.

"You know we can talk about this later, right?"

Sam shook his head as much as he could without aggravating his nausea and within the range of what his restricted movements allowed him. He blinked quickly against the growing moisture under his lids.

"Just know that… I'm sorry…" he blurted out.

Something snapped into place inside Dean's head and his eyes widened.

"Hey! Stop talking like you're gonna die!" he growled. Because no, that was so not happening.

Sam closed his eyes and sighed.

"Hey! Sam? You with me? Sam!"

The amount of strength it took Sam to only open his eyes left him feeling exhausted. Dean let out the breath he'd been holding until he finally gazed into hazel eyes again. Annie's attention had shifted to Sam and then to his vitals.

"…right here… tired…" he mumbled, his eyes drooping from fatigue. Annie noted his pulse and checked his pupils again with her penlight. There wasn't any considerable drop in his vitals.

"I know. Damn it…" the eldest cursed. Did Sam think that he couldn't see that? He knew this kid after all.

Annie put a comforting hand to Sam's shoulder.

"You can rest, Sam. If you're really too tired, it's okay to rest, but I'll have to wake you up regularly to make sure you're still okay" she announced. Dean tensed because he didn't like the sound of that. At least when Sam was awake, he could talk to him and make sure he was still okay. If Sam slept, he'd have to trust the paramedic with his brother. But one look at Sam appeased him with this decision. His brother was welcoming sleep with open arms. What could he do against that?

They kept on driving and Sam kept on sleeping. Annie carried on surveying her patient's vitals. Dean's leg shook nervously. Not being able to talk to his brother only served to aggravate his nervousness.

"Are we getting closer?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence. The beeping and whooshing filling the vehicle had taken their toll on his sanity. Annie turned to the open space that linked the back of the wagon to the driver's space.

"Jason, we there yet?"

"'bout ten minutes out" the driver replied over his shoulder.

Dean greeted the information and breathed deeply. Ten more minutes of nerve wracking transport before they reached the hospital and Dean's comfort by the same means.

"How is he?" Dean blurted out suddenly.

Annie lifted her head to look at him.

"He's holding his own" she replied with a comforting smile.

Dean nodded but that's not what he needed. He needed facts, proofs, anything that would assure him that his brother would make it.

"But… do you think… I mean once we get there, will he be okay?"

Dean's eyes were filled with fear and Annie felt a stab of sympathy for the big brother. She had rarely seen siblings care all that much about one another.

"I'm not a doctor, I'm sorry. He's made it this far, right? I'm sure the doctors will do everything they can to help him. Besides, Sam does look like a fighter too"

"He is" Dean replied proudly. Sam had beaten worse than this. After everything they'd been through, Sam Winchester wouldn't go down because of a goddamned rock. Right?

"I have to wake him up" Annie stated at some point. Dean looked up and his heart picked up speed. He simply nodded as if to give her permission and placed himself so that he was ready to reassure his brother if Sam needed him.

Annie started to call out to his brother. Sam didn't even stir. She sent Dean a sideways glance and then started calling his brother again but with the addition of a gentle but firm pat on his shoulder. Sam didn't move at first. But then he could hear his brother's soft moaning.

"Come on, Sammy. Rise and shine" he encouraged.

Sam didn't open his eyes yet but his forehead creased and Dean heard the sound of his brother's repetitive swallowing.

"He's going to be sick!" he exclaimed wildly as Annie's eyes snapped wide open.

"When? How do you know?"

"Now! I know, that's all"

But Sam was strapped down flat on his back. In his situation, throwing up could mean choking and Dean was not standing back and letting his brother choke to death on his own vomit.

"I have to give him something for the nausea" she informed while holding the suctioning device to Sam's mouth.

"Can you hold this?" she asked, pointing the drain. Dean cringed but he'd do this for Sam. He could hear his brother's strangled coughs and the look of pain on the kid's face.

"It's okay, Sammy. I'm right here. It'll be over soon" he tried.

Annie quickly disinfected Sam's bicep again and slid the syringe beneath the skin.

"He's vomiting. 10 mg of _Compazine_ in" he heard her say to her radio.

"_Copy that_"

Annie regained her responsibility of holding the drain. Dean had done a good job at it for the time it had lasted.

"Thanks" she said with a smile and went back to ensuring Sam's airway's safety.

Sam was shaking from the exhaustion that afflicted his body. Dean was rubbing his arm protectively.

"You're okay, man. You're doing good. It's almost over"

He couldn't tell if Sam was really conscious enough to hear him but it felt good to him so he assumed his brother could use the reassurances as well. When the tremors died down, Sam slumped on the gurney and panted.

"It's okay. It's over, Sammy"

Sam moaned, his brow knitting and softening repeatedly. The bout of sickness appeared to be over.

"Sam? You with me?"

Dean was getting worried at his brother's lack of responsiveness.

"Sammy?" he pressed. That's when he noticed the slits of hazel coming through long lashes.

"You alright?" the eldest breathed, his heart still trying to beat out of his chest after the fit he'd just witnessed. Sam blinked up at him and slowly became more alert albeit confused.

"…wha' happen'd…" he rasped out, his voice hoarse.

"Don't you remember?" Dean asked, his brow creasing.

Sam simply stared at him and blinked. Dean offered a sympathetic smile.

"You're a little sick, kiddo. But it's fine, I'm taking care of it. You'll be okay in no time" the eldest assured.

Sam nodded softly. Trusting. His eyes were drooping again. Annie couldn't help but smile at the fondness the brothers had for each other and how easily Sam gave himself away into trusting his brother. She almost felt like an intruder. She was also growing more convinced that those boys had done this before. Dean knew his hurting brother too well to be relying on sensitivity alone. He actually acted like one whom had years of experience.

"Can you stay awake for a little while longer?" she heard him ask.

"I'll try…" was the soft response that replied the question.

"Attaboy, Sammy"

The vehicle came to a stop and the backdoors flung open. They had made it to the hospital and could finally start assessing what was wrong with his brother. Annie decided to perform one last assessment while Jason joined them and prepared to move Sam.

"Sam, do you know where we are?" she asked.

Sam turned to her slowly and blinked. She could see from his expression that he was trying to think but it proved to be difficult. "M' lying down…" he finally replied. Dean's heart clenched at his brother's lack of awareness. What had he done? He'd let his brother get _that bad_ on his watch.

"Yes you are. We're at the hospital. Do you know why you're here?"

Again, his face scrunched up as he tried to remember. He tried to lift his hand to his forehead but realized that he was strapped down. It seemed to perplex him.

"My head" he stuttered. Annie couldn't tell if he was saying that because he remembered or just to warn her that his head hurt. She bet on the latter though.

"Yes, you hurt your head. That's why it's painful. Do you remember how you hurt your head?"

He looked at her with dazed eyes and that's when Dean understood that Sam had been bad at the motel but his condition had deteriorated a lot in the process of getting to the hospital. He thought how twenty minutes ago, Sam could have conversed with them and replied simple questions. As of now, his brother couldn't even do that. He'd seen Sam concussed before and he could recall how his brother looked and acted when he'd bashed his melon. But this was different somehow. He didn't know what but it just didn't feel like their regular mundane concussions.

"Where's D'n…" Sam jolted suddenly. Dean snapped back to reality when he heard Sam call his name.

"I'm right here, Sammy" he assured, standing on Sam's left side.

"Where?... can't see…"

And it hit Dean that Sam couldn't see on his left side. That much hadn't gotten better on the way. He paced to the other side of the gurney and squeezed his brother's hand.

"That better?" he asked.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed weakly as if he were seeing his brother for the first time.

"Yeah I'm here, kiddo" he repeated. He was surprised when Sam made a move to grab his hand. The youngest got his jacket instead.

"Sam?"

"Don't leave me" he begged, too clearly for Dean's liking. They were already rolling him inside and Dean was doing his best to follow the moving crew. He felt his heart constrict. Not two days ago, Sam was forcing him into bed and wouldn't have Dean check him over. But now his little brother was hurting enough to actually _beg _him to stick around.

"You're gonna be okay, Sammy" he tried, knowing that he couldn't follow his brother everywhere. They would push him away at some point. They were in the ER lobby now and already, nurses were running towards them. He didn't have much time left with his brother.

"Dean…" Sam wailed weakly as they took him away.

"You're gonna be okay" Dean repeated without much of a voice. He wanted to believe it himself. He couldn't begin to think of any other way things could go. Sam _had _to be okay.

He needed to.

*ICP = intracranial pressure

*LOC = level of consciousness.

*GCS = Glasgow coma scale (assesses level of consciousness)

**TBC **

**A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I've been really busy and tired too. For some reason, this chapter was hard to write too. I had a hard time getting into it even though I knew what I wanted to write. I hope it was good enough still. I honestly can't say how much longer this will go. I could've kept writing a lot more but for one chapter, this one was getting long so I decided to stop. I could go on for a while with the story if you guys wanted me to! **

**Again, thank you for reading, following, reviewing and favoriting the story. It means a lot! Don't forget to leave feedback, I love to hear from you! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. **


	5. Chapter 5

_Warning: for slightly graphic descriptions of medical procedures. _

As soon as they were inside the ER, nurses ran to meet them. They had been preparing to receive them for a while already. With Sam's condition, there was no time to lose and he was surely a priority for the medical staff. They quickly rolled him to triage. Annie was reporting everything that had been done so far; the interventions, the medication and the vital signs.

Two nurses surrounded Sam and slipped him out of his clothes. They replaced them with a gown that would make medical care easier. The process gave a moment for the attending physician to arrive and assess the situation. Sam was agitated at this point. He tried to push the nurses' hands away.

"Where's D'n" he repeated incessantly, staring all around with wide eyes.

"Who's that?" one of the nurses asked.

"His brother" Annie informed, just about ready to leave and feeling sorry for the brothers who had been separated.

"You'll see Dean soon, Sam. But first you need to let the doctor check up on you, okay?" Annie said on a very motherly tone. It seemed to reach Sam even in his state of confusion, because he visibly calmed.

"'kay" he whispered. That promise of seeing his brother later had sufficed to keep him calm for the next hour. She smiled reassuringly and felt sadness hit her when she realized that she wouldn't see them again. Every day she met a lot of patients, but not many of them made her heart melt like Sam and Dean did.

The physician thanked her with a nod and took over with the file. At the sight of the results and of his hardly conscious patient, he quickly ordered for Sam to be moved to acute care. The kid wasn't in a good condition, but it still wasn't life threatening at the moment.

When they reached the new department, the physician repeated the testing that had already been done. He checked Sam's vitals and the size of his pupils, assessed his verbal and motor skills and even tried asking questions to see what Sam remembered. Surely enough, his patient didn't have much to tell. Sam was connected to more extensive medical equipment.

"Run a blood test and send him up for a CT*, stat" the neurologist finally barked.

Seconds later, they were moving towards the imaging device. Someone was sent down to alert the brother. Dr Patterson studied the file in his hands and the numbers over and over again on his way to his patient. He was suspecting something, but the CT would be the only way to tell what was wrong with his patient.

The nurses had to move Sam from the gurney to the examination table because he was too somnolent to do it himself. His arm had started to twitch too, which didn't go unnoticed by the medical personnel. One of the nurses set the bag of saline on a pole and made sure the IV line wasn't tangled somewhere between the rest of the equipment. The other nurse extracted contrast material from a vial and into a syringe. She injected it into the IV line. They checked the monitors and oxygen flow, which had been slightly increased with the greater means of the hospital provided care.

Patterson reached the adjacent room and called the nurses back in, so that they could begin with the procedure. The radiologist was already setting everything up and the neurologist sat in front of the computer screens with him. Dr Reed, the radiologist, activated the machine.

"Is he conscious?" Patterson asked the nurses.

"No. He was sleeping when we left. We did give him a mild sedative for the procedure"

"Sure" the physician nodded.

A few minutes later, images of his patient's brain were appearing on the screen. Patterson cursed under his breath. Reed's brow knit as he studied the image.

"Look at that crescent-shaped lighter portion of the scan" he said.

"Hemorrhage?" Patterson asked as though waiting for the other specialist's approval.

"Judging by the midline shift, yeah. And a considerable one too. How long as it been going on?"

Patterson checked the file again. "Four days according to the brother"

"Well, I'd say subacute subdural hematoma"

"Would explain the symptoms… what about the brainstem*? Are we looking at herniation*?"

The radiologist enlarged the picture so he could see clearly.

"Brainstem's compressed for sure, but it's still in the early stages for herniation. Sooner you reduce his ICP, better are his chances" Reed admitted. Patterson nodded.

"Get the pictures transferred to the OR. I'll call in the procedure"

The nurses were already sliding Sam back to the gurney. Patterson reached them quickly.

"Get him back to acute care and start him on _mannitol_. You keep monitoring his LOC and if it drops any, you come get me. I'll inform the brother" Patterson instructed.

Since the scan revealed no cervical injury, they removed the c-collar and efficiently rolled the boy back to a curtained cubicle in the acute care department.

Dean was still in the waiting room when Dr Patterson reached him. He led him to a conference room where he explained the situation.

"Your brother needs surgery" he announced.

Dean felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room at once.

"What?"

Patterson went straight to the point, seeing no reason to hide things from his patient's sibling.

"I can't be completely sure of how it happened, but my guess is that when Sam hit his head, it caused a blood clot to form between his skull and his brain. From what I can see in the paramedic's report, Sam has complained about headaches and has taken ibuprofen for them… am I correct?"

Dean was staring intensely. Upon realizing he'd been spoken to, he shook his head to snap himself back down to earth.

"Yeah… he did" he replied, suddenly feeling guilty for even once feeding the pills to the kid.

"Ibuprofen thins the blood. My guess is, it caused the clot to liquefy, which caused an hemorrhage"

"So you're saying that my brother has a brain hemorrhage or something?" Dean was growing antsy. _Great_. That was just what they needed right now.

"Basically, yes. He has what we call a subdural hematoma and right now it is putting pressure on his brain, which is why he needs the surgery" Patterson explained.

Dean was taken aback and stared dumbfounded.

"Jesus Christ, I wasn't expecting that" he blurted out, still shocked.

"It's a lot to take in"

Dean nodded lightly. Of all the things they'd seen, he would've never thought that his brother could get his ass kicked by that kind of monster. Hemorrhage. It sounded surreal.

"But after the surgery, will he be okay?"

Patterson clasped his hands together and leaned them on the table in front of him.

"We caught it rather early, because it _could_ have been much worse. There is a chance that once we decompress the hemorrhage, the damages will be minimal and heal on their own"

"I hear a _but_ coming" Dean interrupted.

The physician sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I'm still rather guarded about your brother's prognosis. But don't worry Mr. Walker. We'll do everything that we can to treat your brother" he assured.

Dean nodded. The only thing he wanted now was to be near Sam.

"Can I see him?"

Patterson nodded. "Of course. You can stay with him until he's ready to be prepped for surgery"

"And when will the surgery be?"

The physician wasn't as direct as before when that question came out.

"His name is up, but he hasn't been scheduled yet. It's a busy day" the doctor admitted.

Dean felt as if he'd been plunged in frigid water.

"But he's bleeding! Isn't he like a priority or something?"

Dean thought they better make his brother a priority.

"He is but for now, he's still relatively stable and there are people who are bigger priorities right now"

The hunter was starting to boil from the inside.

"So what? If he becomes unstable, _maybe_ you'll consider helping him, as long as someone else is not a bigger priority?"

Patterson sighed. That's the part he actually hated from the job. It's not like he made the rules. But people needed help and when there were many, they could only treat them one by one with the available caregivers and material. It wasn't his fault some people had to wait because some were dying.

"We're doing what we can, Mr. Walker. As soon as your brother is scheduled, I'll send someone to fill you in"

Dean nodded reluctantly and followed the instructions to where he would find his brother. He found Sam behind his curtained cubicle. The kid was asleep – well Dean _hoped_ that he was asleep. The medical equipment had doubled in number. He noted that his brother looked pale and he cringed when he felt the coldness of his skin.

"Damn it, Sammy. Why'd you have to go and make it all so dramatic? You never do things halfway, do you?" Dean asked softly. The only person he could really be angry at was himself. Still, he did blame Sam a little… at least for not telling him how bad he felt.

"That's what you wanted, right? I know I said that if you got yourself sick I wouldn't drag you to the hospital… well here we are, kiddo. You can snap out of it now. I get it. I was an ass and for that, I'm sorry"

He let his words sink in and his bottom lip trembled slightly. He bit on it to keep it from quivering. Sam was still out for the count and Dean didn't need to be a doctor to see that his brother's heart rate wasn't really elevated.

"Sammy? You still in there? Don't do this, okay. Do you hear me? You need to fight, man"

His words resonated against the echo of his own silence. Sam hadn't twitched. Dean had to hang on to the little things; the slight rise and fall of his brother's chest and the occasional nose flares that indicated that at least Sam was still breathing.

"Dean?"

The sound was so soft that for a second, he thought his mind had made it up.

"Sam?"

He turned to meet fluttering lashes. So there was still movement in that body after all. Dean felt the excitation rise inside his stomach.

"Dean" Sam repeated. His voice was a little stronger.

"Yeah. I'm right here and I'm waiting"

Sam's eyes opened to slits.

"Don't tell me Sammy's nap time is over?" he joked.

Sam's eyes opened a little more and he blinked. Something seemed different. Dean studied him closer. His brow creased in concentration, but it only took a few seconds for him to get his finger on what was nagging him.

"Please. Tell me you're doing that on purpose" he breathed out.

It seemed like the message took an awful long time to reach his brother's comprehension, because it took a while for him to react.

"What?" he finally breathed out, his brow furrowed in confusion.

But there wasn't any change and it caused Dean's own heart to beat faster.

"Do you know where we are?" the eldest tried.

Again, Sam looked around slowly and blinked up at him in confusion. Then finally, something lit in his dilated eyes.

"Hosp'tal"

Dean smiled for the first time, but it was clearly forced. He was happy his brother was a little more lucid, but he was still concerned about the obvious fact that his brother was waiting for brain surgery. And his eyes…

"Yeah, you got that straight. Bumped your head, remember?"

Sam shook his head slightly.

"Not really…" he admitted.

Then something started to grate at the back of his head like a static sound he couldn't tune down. He frowned and tried to shake his head, as if it would make it go away.

"Sam? What's wrong?" Dean urged.

The youngest didn't give his brother any sign to show that he had heard him. Sam brought a hand full of wires to his temple and massaged it. It sent Dean on immediate alert mode. Knowing that his brother was actively bleeding, he wouldn't risk him being damaged right in front of him when he couldn't help it.

"Hey? Sam? Do I need to call the doc?" _Kid's getting bad, he might rush him to surgery already._

Sam's eyes snapped open as much as they could with his drooping lids and Dean shivered even more when he saw that deviated pupil. He definitely hoped that this one wouldn't stick after the surgery. _Dude that eye…_

"What? Dean? What's wrong?" Sam was speaking too clearly for Dean's liking. Two minutes ago the kid was hardly making any sense and now he was making too much. His eyes instinctively switched to the heart monitor where he could see that Sam's heartbeat had spiked. _Ok Sammy, calm down right now!_

"What? Why? How can I be calm? What's going on?" Sam panted.

Dean's eyes widened. _Did he… no he couldn't…_

"Dean, what's happening to me?"

Sam sounded way too serious. Like _I want to know and I'll panic if I don't_.

"First, you gotta calm down, okay?" _Is that another sign of imminent brain damage?_

"What's wrong with my brain?" Sam asked, clutching his head as best as he could.

Dean's heart skipped a beat. _Did he… again?_

"Sam?" Dean started cautiously. _Are you hearing this?_

"Hearing what?" Sam snapped, not telling the difference anymore between what his brother said and what thoughts he was hearing. Actually he had forgotten all about that, but he heard the resonating thoughts enough to make his head want to split open.

"Holy fucking shit" Dean gasped as he realized what was going on.

"Since when?" he demanded seriously. If that was something else Sam had kept hidden from him, they'd have a serious conversation once Sam was coherent enough to explain himself.

"What?" Sam asked in return, a puzzled look on his face.

"The mind reading, damn it! How long have you been sneaking into my head?"

Dean sounded pissed and Sam was hardly registering what was going on. A strange feeling crept over him and made him sit still for several seconds, trying to process what it could possibly be.

"Hey! You heard me? How long, Sam?"

But Sam wasn't hearing or seeing anything at that right moment. His breath caught in his throat. Dean was ready to snap at his brother again when he heard the quickening wail of the monitors.

"Sam?"

That tone sounded concerned. Dean turned to his brother with eyes wide with fear. Sam's face had paled, if possible and his lips were slowly losing their shade.

"D…not…good…" he stuttered and as soon as the words were forced out of his mouth, his arms and legs started twitching. Twitching led to jerking and jerking led to trashing.

"Sammy?" Dean called in fear when he actually _heard _Sam's breath catch in his throat and come out in a soft high-pitched cry. He watched with sheer panic as his brother's eyes rolled back while his head trashed against the pillow.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed as he jumped to the call button and drummed his fist on it. "Help!" he cried out.

Dr Patterson and his team of nurses were in the room within seconds.

"He's seizing. Get 5 mg of _diazepam,_ stat" the physician barked.

One of the nurses prepared the syringe while the other one helped the attending physician in the task of securing their seizing patient. They lowered the head of the bed and removed the nasal cannula. When the nurse returned with the medication, Dr Patterson didn't lose a second before injecting it in the IV line.

They waited. Dean was holding his breath. Sam was still seizing, his muscles clenching and unclenching incessantly. It seemed to last forever. The doctor was ready to call another dose when the shaking stopped. Sam went limp and slumped on the bed. The nurses were already by his side, turning him to the recovery position. The physician studied the vitals on the monitors.

"Sats are down. I need a Venturi kit, stat" the doctor expressed. One of the nurses was already retrieving the material. The other one was trying to rouse Sam.

"Mr. Walker? Sam? Can you hear me?"

Sam didn't as much as flinch. In the mean time, the physician assembled the mask, tube, diluter and flowmeter together. He connected the tubing and verified the oxygen flow. The nurse carried on with her evaluation. She pressed the side of Sam's nail with her own when he didn't respond to verbal commands. Out of instinct, he pulled his hand away with a light moan and a grimace of pain, but he didn't wake.

"Alright, it's ready. What's is LOC?" the physician announced with the mask in hand, ready for use.

The nurse shook her head sadly. "GCS of 8, sir" she replied, either unsure of her answer or not wanting it to be true. This statement rushed the doctor's actions. He placed the mask on his patient's face and adjusted it.

"8?" Patterson asked, turning to her suddenly.

The nurse nodded sadly. The doctor's face turned grim.

"Hey… what does that mean…"

The medical team turned to face the brother that they had forgotten. Dean was still standing there and had witnessed the whole scene. He didn't like what he was hearing and he really didn't like that look on the doctor's face.

"It means that Sam needs that surgery now. He's deteriorating quickly" his doctor had to admit.

"But you said… he was stable enough to wait… there was no room"

The physician could understand very well how this man was feeling. This was all very overwhelming.

"It's different now. In the triage classification, Sam has just gone from _urgent_ to _emergency_. He _is _a priority now. I'll inform the board and be right back to get him to the OR"

Dean's face dropped. If his day had been bad so far, he didn't know how to describe this new turn of events. The only thing he could think to do was to walk over to where his brother was and stand there, frozen… broken…

"Sam" he said softly, his voice breaking. "You don't get to check out on me. Your big act allowed you a VIP pass to the OR, you better make that count! You understand me?"

He didn't mean for his tone to sound so harsh, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Sam could mop around if he wanted to, but he'd rather have that than no Sam at all.

It didn't take long for the personnel to reach Sam's side. They all came and explained what was going to happen in the OR. Dean's brain stopped processing other information after they told him they were going to remove a part of his brother's skull. They would also have to shave a part of his brother's mop of hair. Sam was definitely not going to like it when he woke up.

Sam never showed any signs of regaining consciousness. According to the doctors, he was actually sinking deeper. Dean had to stand back while they intubated his brother. He had never wanted this to reach such proportions and he could only wish that Sam was going to be okay through all of it.

The doctors moved Sam to surgery. They settled him in and scrubbed in, one by one. A nurse was shaving Sam's head already while another one connected Sam to the monitors in the operating room. They draped his body, leaving his head out, and secured it so it wouldn't move during surgery. The images from the scan were sent to their computers so they could have an idea of where to cut.

When everything and everybody was ready, the anesthesiologist injected the sedatives that would keep Sam under during surgery and that truly announced that the intervention had begun. Surgeons, including Dr Patterson himself, opened the skin which allowed them to reach the bone. Removing the bone was the tricky part and their patient would have to mother of all headaches when he woke up.

"How is our patient doing so far?"

"Oxygen is 100% still, but BP's a little low"

"Another blood unit?"

"We're still running on the last one"

"Then 5 mg of _Ephedrine_?"

"_Ephedrine,_ stat"

"5 mg is in"

"Good. How's BP?"

"Increasing sir"

"Let's keep it that way"

Patterson proceeded to start draining the hemorrhage.

"That's some hematoma we've got here"

"Yeah. I'm surprised we haven't seen him sooner"

"Brother seemed pretty concerned though. But according to him, our patient here didn't complain until earlier today"

"Tough"

"Not so much when you put your life at stake"

"Right"

They continued in silence. The monitors beeped and the ventilator whooshed.

"I need another unit of saline"

"BP still holding up?"

"100/65… I'd be happier if it were higher, but with the size of that hematoma, can't say I'm surprised"

"He's still bleeding a lot too"

"Yeah, well. He took massive doses of ibuprofen in the past few days"

"Damn it. As if we weren't working hard enough already…"

The surgeons looked at each other and turned back to the operation. A small change in the monitors attracted all of their attention.

"Uh, guys! I have a beginning of arrhythmia here"

"Not now! Come on, Sam. You're doing great so far"

The wail from the monitor quickened in a constant.

"He's in V-tach*. Charge the paddles to 200"

"Let's synchronize this shock with his heart rate. Ok I got it. Whenever you're ready"

"Clear!"

And the shock was delivered at the right precise moment the heart line peaked on the monitor. The beeping slowed and stabilized.

"We're back into sinus rhythm"

The paddles were put away and the procedure went on.

"That was close"

"Yeah, let's keep an eye out and finish this damn surgery so the kid doesn't have to lay here with his head open. This should help"

"Gee, don't sugarcoat it"

"How's the ICP*?"

"19 mmHg and dropping"

"We're getting there!"

"I just hope there is no irreversible damage caused by compression of cranial nerves. There have been important visual disturbances before the surgery"

Silence fell inside the room while they continued to drain the hemorrhage.

"How's BP going?"

"Steady"

"Good. Now, that's what I like to hear!"

"Get another unit of O neg*"

"How's the draining going?"

"ICP's 17 mmHg now"

"Come on, Sam. We're just about done"

Indeed, the largest amount of blood had been drained.

"Uh guys?"

"What is it again?"

"Something's not right"

As if words weren't enough to trigger a generalized state of anxiety, the wailing of the monitors attracted their attention again.

"Heart's not contracting. He's in V-Fib*!"

"Shit! Charge the paddles to 300"

Patterson started CPR while the paddles charged. "Sam, don't give up now. The procedure is over. Your brother… Dean… he's waiting for you, right?"

He grabbed the paddles and pressed them to his patient's chest before charging. Sam's body jolted before falling back down. The fibrillation was gone from the screen, replaced by a sad straight line. The monitor cried.

"He's coding. Damn it. Push an amp of Epi*, stat!" Patterson shouted as he resumed CPR.

"Come on, Sam. Come on" he begged breathlessly from the strength invested in the cardiac resuscitation.

"Epi is in"

CPR continued to the sad tone of the flatline on the monitor.

"Should we call it?"

"No! Damn it, give me another amp of Epi!" Patterson shouted. He didn't know what drove him, but something made him hold on.

"STAT!" he had to add when his team just stared at him.

He decided to inject it through the endotracheal tube this time. The drug would kick in faster with this route. He resumed CPR and waited to see something happen. At this point, he feared he would need nothing short of a miracle.

"Sam, don't do this. Come on, kiddo. I've seen the look on your brother's face. You and I both know what's going to happen if you give up now" Patterson tried. He wouldn't really go as far as to say that Dean wouldn't make it, but if it was enough to reach out to Sam…

And it must have done just that because a small beep resonated from the monitor. It was followed by another one and then a series of other ones.

"That's it. You're doing good"

"We're back into sinus rhythm" another surgeon said.

The rest of the surgery was a blur compared to the previous moments that were high in emotions. Soon enough, Sam was stitched up and moved to recovery. Dr Patterson sighed as he slapped his surgical gloves off and removed his stained scrubs. He couldn't help but to think how easily he could've lost that patient had he just decided to give up. Somehow, he was happy that he didn't.

Time to tell the brother. When he found Dean all rolled up on himself in the waiting room, he knew some things were going to be hard to discuss. He invited the older brother to the conference room where they'd be quiet to talk. He even offered Dean some decent coffee. Dean's stomach was really grateful to get something smoother than the acid shit he had found in the vending machines.

"So how did the surgery go?"

Patterson sighed. He had to know this would be coming.

"It was pretty touch and go for a while. But in the end, the surgery was successful" he announced.

"So he's okay? Sam will be okay?"

"We won't know the whole extent of the damage until he wakes up, but at this point I think we can expect good results"

Dean nodded. He was relieved beyond words.

"But still, I'm guarded because of the complications that occurred during the surgery"

Dean frowned. "I thought you just said he was going to be fine?"

The Doctor nodded. "Technically, he should be. But you have to understand the stakes, here. Because of the bleeding and during the surgery, Sam's blood pressure kept bottoming out. We gave him something to control it and it might have been the trigger of a few arrhythmias that had to be taken care of"

"Uh, okay. What does it mean in English?"

"That Sam's heart needed to be shocked twice. The first time was to stabilize his heart because he went into tachycardia and the second time was because his heart actually failed. He coded on the table, Dean. I'm sorry. But as I have told you before, the surgery was still successful at last and Sam might just make a full recovery"

Dean's heart stopped when he heard that Sam's literally did. Now if that wasn't the worst day of his life…

"God, I shouldn't have gotten outta bed this morning…" he moaned, brushing a hand into is short hair.

"If it can make you feel better, you probably saved Sam's life today. By calling this morning as soon as you got the call, you improved his chances. Had it been just a few hours later and Sam might not have made it"

Dean didn't know how to take that remark. He hadn't really realized that, until the doctor pointed it out.

"Now, I'm guessing you will want to see your brother soon" the physician proposed.

Dean nodded. Didn't take a genius to figure that out.

"Don't worry. He's still in recovery for now, but as soon as he's moved to the ICU, I'll send someone out to get you to him"

"Thank you" Dean said sincerely.

"You're welcome, Mr. Walker"

Dean shook his head.

"No, thank you like… for everything" _For saving my brother_. The doctor didn't have the ability to hear thoughts, but he heard that all the same. He smiled genuinely at Dean.

"I know. It's fine. It's my job, right?" he said with a nod. Dean smiled at how familiar this sounded. He could've said that himself. Because when it came to that kid, it was his job to do anything to keep him safe. He might not have been the one to open his brother's head to heal his wounds, but as the doctor had put it, he'd taken care of his kid by calling an ambulance when he did. Had he not then maybe he wouldn't have a brother to go to. This was worth the wait. This was worth anything else in the world.

_Having an alive brother to get to._

**TBC **

*CT (scan) as in CAT scan = x-ray

*brainstem = middle-rear portion of the brain

*herniation = when the brain shifts because of an additional pressure on the brain (hemorrhage, for instance)

*V-tach = ventricular tachycardia (heart beating too fast)

*ICP = intracranial pressure which is measured in mmHg. 15 is elevated, 20 is a medical emergency

*O neg = O negative, as in the type of blood

*V-Fib = ventricular fibrillation, in which the heart's quivering instead of beating

*Epi = epinephrine = adrenaline

**So that was the update. I had to do a lot of research to get that done because yeah, believe it or not, I've never set foot in med school or anything related. If there are some mistakes, sorry. They're all mine. I hope you liked this chapter! I'd appreciate feedback too. It's always amazingly helpful. Thank you for following this and stay tuned for more!**


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